Friday, August 7, 2015

Unfortunately I think the end is nigh

We have been going to marriage guidance counselling.
As far as I can see she has no interest in me. 
It seems any fetish = broken and unfixable.
For ages she has effectively withdrawn intimacy. 
I wish I had never spoken with her about my fetish.
Now I have nothing. 
My fetish does not get .....
Even "normal" vanilla intimacy is not enjoyed.
We both walk on egg shells.

He currently stated concern is that I "explode" unexpectedly.
I wonder why.
It seems to be that I do that out of frustration.
I think the sequence was
1.  Tell her of fetish.
2.  She decided I was weird or broken.
3.  She recoiled & wanted be be away.
4.  She withdrew intimacy.
5.  I got frustrated that not even "normal" intimate activities occurred.
6.  I would express that frustration.
7.  She would take that as criticism and withdraw further.
8.  I would see no response by her in response to my frustration.
9.  I would get angry and "explode"
10. Loop continues at step 7.

So now it seems I have to
1.  Not explode every.
2.  Not question, criticise, or say anything even remotely negative.
3.  Express unqualified approval for everything she says, wears and does.

Will try.
Interestingly in a way, you cant get more sub than that.