I wonder if the sub male in me is simultaneously trying to accomplish:
a) Satisfy the sex drive and
b) Not wanting to take responsibility for anything or at least anything that requires too much serious thought or that has any significant consequences.
There is a certain calmness when one has no responsibility. A could not give a s**t.
getting back to (a) "satisfying the sex drive does not necessarily mean getting an orgasm. One can do that with ones hand. But what a unsatisfying orgasm that is. I think it is wanting to have an intimate connection with someone who cares and shows they care.
