Wednesday, September 14, 2016
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Abstinance Narcisism and multi syllable words
The marriage is still tense.
She is still controlling in what I would describe as a narcissistic manner.
She sent me a text message stating "I am going to visit so and so this evening" so that is confident and in charge - OK.
Me being of the submissive persuasion are happy to accept that.
I would have texted "Is it OK if I go and visit so and so this evening".
Not expecting her to do that.
I was left though in a quandary. Did she want me to go or was she wishing to go on her own. Maybe she wanted to have a private conversation or such. It would have been nice from my sub perspective if she had answered that question. So I had to word a text in reply acknowledging that I understood she was going and to enquire as to whether she wished me to go with her. I did not wish to impose myself on her or put her in a position where she felt obligated to take me. This can occur if I word it in a way that makes it sound like I feel hurt that I am not invited for example. So I was very careful to word it in a way that did not force her hand. She responded that she would like to come with her. Status clarified and I was relaxed. In the end, the kids came too and the people we were visiting put on a dinner for all. While we were there I excused myself and had a bit of a cat nap. Two reasons. Firstly so that I would be fresh and awake so I could drive her home and secondly just in case she wanted to have private conversations but had not said so. So that all ended well.
On the sexual front, had a short but nice discussion with her. Basically along the lines that we know that my love language is physical touch and that any physical touch conveys love to me. Her love languages are acts of service and words of encouragement.
We also discussed how pretty much anything gets me sexually aroused but that love is more than sex. With her, she is very sexually conservative and so much stops her getting turned on or something.
She gives me sex out of obligation - which I hate and does nothing really for her even if it is an "act of service"
Anyway the end result of this was that we agreed on two weeks abstinence for me. We are a few days into it and already I am wishing for release but at the same time wanting to continue.
She is still controlling in what I would describe as a narcissistic manner.
She sent me a text message stating "I am going to visit so and so this evening" so that is confident and in charge - OK.
Me being of the submissive persuasion are happy to accept that.
I would have texted "Is it OK if I go and visit so and so this evening".
Not expecting her to do that.
I was left though in a quandary. Did she want me to go or was she wishing to go on her own. Maybe she wanted to have a private conversation or such. It would have been nice from my sub perspective if she had answered that question. So I had to word a text in reply acknowledging that I understood she was going and to enquire as to whether she wished me to go with her. I did not wish to impose myself on her or put her in a position where she felt obligated to take me. This can occur if I word it in a way that makes it sound like I feel hurt that I am not invited for example. So I was very careful to word it in a way that did not force her hand. She responded that she would like to come with her. Status clarified and I was relaxed. In the end, the kids came too and the people we were visiting put on a dinner for all. While we were there I excused myself and had a bit of a cat nap. Two reasons. Firstly so that I would be fresh and awake so I could drive her home and secondly just in case she wanted to have private conversations but had not said so. So that all ended well.
On the sexual front, had a short but nice discussion with her. Basically along the lines that we know that my love language is physical touch and that any physical touch conveys love to me. Her love languages are acts of service and words of encouragement.
We also discussed how pretty much anything gets me sexually aroused but that love is more than sex. With her, she is very sexually conservative and so much stops her getting turned on or something.
She gives me sex out of obligation - which I hate and does nothing really for her even if it is an "act of service"
Anyway the end result of this was that we agreed on two weeks abstinence for me. We are a few days into it and already I am wishing for release but at the same time wanting to continue.
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