I am too emotional

This week my wife has been and still is very busy with things. 

I feel ignored.

A few nights ago I said to her that in the middle of all this busyness it would be nice if she could put aside a few minutes for some intimate time in the bed room.  I said that what we would do would be up to her.  If she wants a massage or orgasm for her or if she want to cane or whip me.  So I guess a little topping from the bottom going on here. 

Anyway I was feeling ignored and to a degree took things into my own hands.  I have a fetish for plastic.  So I put on a pair of plastic pants.  Plastic right against my skin.  I do not know why I find this nice.  Its is relaxing.  Stimulating.  I just wore them for several hours while I did a few tasks.  Then when it was time for bed I kept them on and put my boxers over the top.

My wife was busy on her computer organising things.  I went to bed and lay there.  Not expecting anything but feeling a combination of naughty excitement, relaxation, and annoyance that she is too busy.

She came into the bed room and lay beside me and rubbed her hand over my bottom and of course felt the plastic under my boxers.  Then she gave me attention.  My love language is physical touch.  At this stage I was not hard.  She pinched my nipples.  She knows this gets me hard and she rubbed me through the plastic which because of sweat was now quite slippery.  I was turned on.

She got up and said roll over onto your tummy.

She got the electrical flex out of the bed side table and whipped my bottom.  Cripes it hurt but at the same time I loved it.

I am just weird hey.

She went round the other side of the bed and gave me another about 10.  They hurt.  I said to her she could try on the top and back of my legs on the bare skin.  Cripes that hurt.  I was writing up and down humping the bed.  It was both stimulating and a way to dispel the pain at the same time.  I asked if I could cum and she said yes.  As she whipped I humped and came and just exploded in waves of pleasure.

I lay back exhausted.

She disappeared back to her organising.

I fell asleep.

The next morning I got up very early, still in the messy plastic pants.  Quietly had a shower.  Went to work.  Her and my days are several hours different.  I am an early morning person.  She is a night time person.

whipping punishment and reward

I got grumpy last night.  Sulky.
As I write this, I have momentarily forgotten why.
In bed, still feeling moody but calmed down.
I said to her that she should punish me for being grumpy and she said OK get the cane.  I said you can use the electrical flex if you like and she said OK get that.
I switched on my bed side light, got it and gave it to her and I lay face down in my boxers on the bed.  She whipped me about ten time.  Cripes it hurt.  Then she started to just stroke my legs and back with it.  I real mix of the punishment with teasing.  Then a few more unexpectedly.  Then she finished.

I put the chord back in the bed side table draw.  We hugged and kissed.  I thanked her.

We lay back.  Hand in hand.  It was nice.  It was not long before I could tell she was asleep. Regular breathing.  I though was wide awake.  Mind alert.  I am conscious that I have a tendency to get moody.  many times I have gotten sulky because she falls asleep in bed.  So I am having to mentally put myself in a place to avoid that.

I ponder that the whipping was like both a punishment and a reward.  It hurt and it was in the context of having gotten moody and being punished for it but also I find that the pain helps to clear my mind.  I know it is not politically correct but it does.  Its almost like an aspirin or a coffee in waking me up and clearing the mind.  Or even exercise.

I then thought a scary thought.  I would like her to tie me face down to the bed.  I would like her to whip me really really hard.  I want it to be so hard that I scream.  I want her to not stop whipping me when I scream.  Weird hey.  I know that when it is happening I will be regretting it.  I will be wondering why I was so stupid to ask for it.  I will be wishing it to be over.  I know it will hurt and hurt a lot.  But still that is something I dream or fantasise about.  Weird hey.

sub music

I had a previous post here listing vanilla songs that to me have some kinky or submissive side to them.

Heard this song on the radio
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P27zteuLRPc

The Real Thing - You To Me Are Everything (Lyrics)

With lines like this in it

I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to.
I'd do anything for you
your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand.
Words cannot express how much you mean to me.
You know you've got the power girl
To keep me holding on.

maybe we are back on

Should that read .... back down under...

Dropped in at home for a quick bite of lunch.

Ended up in the bed room.

First on my tummy and a dozen strokes of the cane.  Wow.

Then gently rubbed her.  Took her skirt & pants off.  Worked gently as per request.  Eventually she orgasmed and a pretty intense one from what I could tell / feel.

I asked if I could cum and she reiterated "no".

wow. 

"No" sounds so good

Last night we were in bed together and in retrospect she was giving direction a bit more than usual.  She said she was going to roll onto her tummy so I could stroke her back.  At one stage she said to touch gently on the back of her legs and bottom.  She got turned on and I moved my hand inside her undies.  She came with me rubbing her with my fingers. 

Then we lay cuddled.  I was wondering where this would lead.  Then she started to drift off to sleep.  Now if we were in a overtly fem dom male sub mode then I would be very happy with that but we have been in a malaise for a while.  I could feel myself getting angry or at least annoyed.  When she gets like this I just think she is being lazy when it comes to the relationship or at least the intimate sexual part of it. 

Luckily after a while she awoke and the physical touching started again and she said "take you pants off".  She started to suck me.  very very stimulating.  Then she took her panties off and got on top.   I was getting in a sub headspace and she tried to push on but she was too dry.  Then she got some lube and put it on and rubbed me.  Long and slow.  Oh so turned on.  Then she got on top again and pushed on.  She started to move and it soon became clear that she was stimulated.  There is a difference in the rhythm or something.  So she was moving and on top and I was turned on and mildly at least in a sub head space.  I then asked if I could come.  I fully expected her to say that we should come together.  She surprised me by saying you just came a few days ago I am sure you can wait a bit longer.

I almost shot my load in surprise.

"How long are you going to wait" I enquired.

"do you think you can wait until ..... (weekend away planned for about 3 weeks time)..."
"wow that would be so hot" I said too quickly.
then I rabbited on saying she could whip me and so on.  Not sure if that was a good thing or too much of an over reaction.  I also mentioned how much I had enjoyed my last period of abstinence back at the start of the year and how turned on I had got reading the forum where the catholic (I think) wives were discussing helping their husbands deal with extended periods of abstinence and I mean here these people only have sex when they want to conceive and so the men have to go years without orgasm. 

On that, the up side for the guy was increased and deliberate intimacy by the wives.

so we wait and see how we go over the next week or so.

:)

Using my tongue

It has been a while since I posted anything.  I guess I still hanker for some edgy sexy submissive stuff.  Actually I hanker for some edge to our pretty mundane relationship.

My mind though is never far from thinking about it and there seem to be regular encounters that I sexify or subify. 

We had a night out with friends last Friday night.  Middle aged clubbing if you can call it that.  A few drinks and a dinner at a central city pub and some dancing to a far too loud band.  Around midnight while waiting to cross the road a young (lets say 19yo) girl who had had rather too much to drink and being escorted by a slightly less inebriated young man accosted a kilt wearing middle aged scottsman and demanded that the boyfriend take a photo of her with the well dressed scottsman.  Someone in the watching crowd said she just liked me in kilts.  Someone else called out to the boyfriend that he had better watch out or she will have him in dresses.  To which she laughed and said "We (note the we) have already decided that he is getting a kilt".  My heart fluttered for the boy.

In another area of my life I car pool taking kids to school.  One of the mum who normally drives as part of this is going to be away for a week.  She is getting so over involved in organising what will happen while she will be away.  She is making her husband (who normally goes to work early) stay late some mornings to ensure that the kids get out of bed and get dressed.  She is quite open that she does not trust him to do it right so she is organising her mother to come two days and another mother  from the car pool group for the other 3 days to, get this, bring her own kids over and supervise breakfast that the husband will cook so that ring in mother can ensure that they all get up get their school uniforms on and get to school on time.  She said "If I don't organise this, he (her husband) will go to work at the usual time and the kids will sleep in till lunch time and forget to go to school".  I just smiled to myself .  She is dominant but also very untrusting.  But it was kind of kinky in a way the way the husband effectively had a baby sitter to supervise him.

And now onto more intimate things. - Sex with my wife

Last night into bed around 10:30.  Wife had bought a new nightie.  For me not really sexy.  Spaghetti straps and too long.  Just me I guess.  I would have preferred puffy sleeves and shorter and flouncier.  But it was she who had bought it.


We began with a bit of touching and she rolled onto her front and I stroked her bottom and kissed her shoulders.  This was looking good.  Over a week since my last orgasm.  A short conversation about me licking her and she asks if she should get a washer and clean her self down there. I dismiss that. I rolled her onto her back.  Took off her undies and started to use my tongue.  She got more and more turned on.  I was hard and excited.


In the middle of all of this she asked if there were things I wanted to do.  By now with my tongue inside her I was in a submissive mind space.  I said things like for her to whip or cane me for her to cum but make me hold off. 
She seemed on the edge for ages.  I got up and lay on top and slipped in.  She was so wet and turned on.  Different from usual where she is disinterested and dry and we end up using lube.  No lube this time.  We roll so I am on my back as experience has shown that she is much more likely to orgasm this way.  I am hard and focused.  Focused on her Cumming.  Its a funny thing sex.  In a way so selfish.  At one level only I experience my orgasm but at another level I get great satisfaction when she orgasms and so by holding off orgasm myself even though that requires concentration on my part, on balance it allows more focus to be put on her enjoyment.  My movements, and places my hand goes are all chosen to try and maximize the potential for her to orgasm.


She came and then lay on top of me.  Because I smell of her I don't think she wanted to tongue kiss me.  Quite understandable.  We lay there for a while.  I was still hard and turned on.  A few times I thrust and that was very stimulating.  I was in a way hoping she would tease and say "that's it for tonight" but she didn't.  We rolled over and I thrust and came.


Then we drifted off to sleep.

Busy

Life is busy.
School holidays have come to an end and we are getting into a new routine.
Subbiness has dropped off.
I think I will just free wheel for a while.  I do not know how long.  I wonder if posting here means that I am on the way back down I guess.  By down I mean down into sub space not down into depression.

A focus on service that is doing things without being asked and also listening and responding to her needs.