Subservient husband has an interesting posting
http://subservient-husband.blogspot.com/2011/07/vetting-via-blogging.html
It mentions many things
Long term chastity, Masculine feelings,
feeling more 'feminine' possibly even a desire to cross dress.
It has stimulated my thinking
I really enjoy it when my wife reaches orgasm. It actually makes me feel like I have contributed to the relationship. It is especially nice when this happens without me reaching orgasm. I enjoy the feeling that she has had pleasure and I get pleasure from focussing on her.
This is not to say I never want sex or never want to reach orgasm - I do. But I also get enjoyment from not being distracted by me reaching orgasm.
But it is a head space thing. I would imagine I would feel very left out if she were to have tried to force this on me.
'Your such a girl', 'Good Girl'
There was a time when that was seen as a derogatory term. Then we had a phase in which that was a politically incorrect statement. I wonder if one day soon it will be seen as words of praise.
Dressing Pretty
In Subservient husband's blog he mentions a desire to dress more prettilly and one of the commenters also said that her husband would like to do this too.
As I think about it I think the following
How do men dress to impress? They really have fewer options.
Women can wear anything that men wear but men can not really wear dresses.
Having said that I went to a pub with my wife and some friends and some scottish bag pipers performed wearing kilts and it was a real powerful experience of masculinity. They appeared powerful yet were wearing skirts. Interesting thoughts. The women in our group were certainly aroused.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Primary Love Language
It would seem that we have my wifes primary love language as "acts of service" and so that should work out reasonably well for me taking the submissive role. It means that the more I serve, the more she will feel that I love her.
It is kind of nice to be able to focus my male one track mind.
Obviously I can not totally neglect the other 4 languages but for now I will enjoy having something to focus on.
I guess there are general acts of service
Washing up,
Tidy house
etc
and personal acts of service
Massage - Big advantage of this one is that it is service to her and "physical touch" for me and is not 'invasive physical touch' ie groping which is her big turn off.
Foot massage - I know that others write about spending hours massaging their partners feet,
I suspect that she sees letting me have sex or not have sex is seen by her as an act of service to me. That is tease and denial does nothing for her but she does it because she knows I like it. Interesting to consider it from that point of view.
It is kind of nice to be able to focus my male one track mind.
Obviously I can not totally neglect the other 4 languages but for now I will enjoy having something to focus on.
I guess there are general acts of service
Washing up,
Tidy house
etc
and personal acts of service
Massage - Big advantage of this one is that it is service to her and "physical touch" for me and is not 'invasive physical touch' ie groping which is her big turn off.
Foot massage - I know that others write about spending hours massaging their partners feet,
I suspect that she sees letting me have sex or not have sex is seen by her as an act of service to me. That is tease and denial does nothing for her but she does it because she knows I like it. Interesting to consider it from that point of view.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Young girls marriage proposal - you WILL marry me!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGQ9Z3ssCmU
Young girl learning to assert herself.
Boy is conflicted because he knows that eventually he will sucum to her pressure and marry her because she says so.
I guess the earlier one learns the better.
Young girl learning to assert herself.
Boy is conflicted because he knows that eventually he will sucum to her pressure and marry her because she says so.
I guess the earlier one learns the better.
big picture
Weird isn't it that almost a 100 people killed in Norway, so many starving in southern Nigeria that it takes a month to get registered in a refugee camp in order to get food. Yet here I am dealing with emotional relational issues with my wife.
Finally decided that her primary love language is "acts of service".
Sort of a process of elimination.
She certainly is not a "physical touch" person,
I dismissed "quality time" - couple of examples, If we went an saw a movie then she was not into discussing the moral implications, or possible twists in the plot. Another example - she came and sat as I watched TV last night. Now sitting with someone watching TV is not quality time. Especially when you do not enjoy the show. So I decided that she was approaching it as an "act of service" to me.
That left "receiving gifts" & "Words of encouragement". It could have been either of these but in the end it seemed that she was a real doer for others.
So now my challenge is to do acts of service for her and see if she sees that as a expression of my love.
One of the difficulties is that whilest she does lots of "acts of service" for others, she does not let others serve her. She is quite inderpendant. In fact I think that she will sometimes feel that when someone does something for her that it is disempowering her. Possibly because she could have done it better or faster herself.
By that for eample, I mean, I find our house to be a cluttered mess yet whenever I try to clean it up, she goes through the trash to make sure I did not thow anything away that she feels could be better used.
So there you go.
When she whips me she is doing it as a service to me.
Finally decided that her primary love language is "acts of service".
Sort of a process of elimination.
She certainly is not a "physical touch" person,
I dismissed "quality time" - couple of examples, If we went an saw a movie then she was not into discussing the moral implications, or possible twists in the plot. Another example - she came and sat as I watched TV last night. Now sitting with someone watching TV is not quality time. Especially when you do not enjoy the show. So I decided that she was approaching it as an "act of service" to me.
That left "receiving gifts" & "Words of encouragement". It could have been either of these but in the end it seemed that she was a real doer for others.
So now my challenge is to do acts of service for her and see if she sees that as a expression of my love.
One of the difficulties is that whilest she does lots of "acts of service" for others, she does not let others serve her. She is quite inderpendant. In fact I think that she will sometimes feel that when someone does something for her that it is disempowering her. Possibly because she could have done it better or faster herself.
By that for eample, I mean, I find our house to be a cluttered mess yet whenever I try to clean it up, she goes through the trash to make sure I did not thow anything away that she feels could be better used.
So there you go.
When she whips me she is doing it as a service to me.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
ordinary
Just feeling a bit ordinary right now.
We have some friends over. Earlier today my wife said she "was just going to wear jeans even though she knows I would prefer to wear a skirt" She has every right to dress how she likes but I just felt irrelevant. Get over it!.
I was also a bit anoyed that there were several things that she sort of half organised and I was left to make them work.
There grumbled here and not at her.
We have some friends over. Earlier today my wife said she "was just going to wear jeans even though she knows I would prefer to wear a skirt" She has every right to dress how she likes but I just felt irrelevant. Get over it!.
I was also a bit anoyed that there were several things that she sort of half organised and I was left to make them work.
There grumbled here and not at her.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
needing not wanting
Last night I got grumpy and spoke shortly to my wife.
This does not inspire her nore do anything for me.
Did not sleep well.
Realised as the garbage truck drove up the street that I had forgotton to put the bins out.
Got up put bins out on the other side of the road which had not been done yet.
Went back inside and crawled into bed.
Wife now awake.
I lay in bed pondering.
I was feeling a bit depressed I guess.
I thought she should whip me for the way I had spoken to her last night and also for me not being proactive and helping but I really did not feel like it.
Its kind of interesting to consider punishmnet. Especially physical punishment. People see it as either abuse or cathardic (I guess).
I figured though that I can't just get whipped when I feel like it.
So I eventually resolved to ask her.
Said "you really should whip me for being so rude last night".
So she did.
Turned on the bed side light.
Opened the bottom draw and took out the electrical flex.
I did not count them but they were good and painful.
I feel better now.
Clearer head,
Like she is in control a bit anyway.
Punished for behaving wrong.
This does not inspire her nore do anything for me.
Did not sleep well.
Realised as the garbage truck drove up the street that I had forgotton to put the bins out.
Got up put bins out on the other side of the road which had not been done yet.
Went back inside and crawled into bed.
Wife now awake.
I lay in bed pondering.
I was feeling a bit depressed I guess.
I thought she should whip me for the way I had spoken to her last night and also for me not being proactive and helping but I really did not feel like it.
Its kind of interesting to consider punishmnet. Especially physical punishment. People see it as either abuse or cathardic (I guess).
I figured though that I can't just get whipped when I feel like it.
So I eventually resolved to ask her.
Said "you really should whip me for being so rude last night".
So she did.
Turned on the bed side light.
Opened the bottom draw and took out the electrical flex.
I did not count them but they were good and painful.
I feel better now.
Clearer head,
Like she is in control a bit anyway.
Punished for behaving wrong.
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