Workin for the wife

Standing around chatting to a few guys I knew a few years back and the conversation goes like this
Me: "so what are you up to now"
Man 1: Working bla bla bla
Me: to second guy  "and you"
Man 2: "I'm workin for the wife"
Men 3,4,5,6.. "mate we're all workin for the wives".  (Me silent smile)
Man2: "she got this .xyz. business and I'm doing .abc...    .... and not get paid for it."
Man 1,3,4,5,6 and me all togeter "I don't get paid either"
all:  Laughter all round.

Value

We value things that are rare and conversly things that are abundant are generally of low value.  Diamonds, Gold and so on are valuable because they are rare.  Air, soil, old cars - well they are in abundance and so are considered as low value. 

Another thing that drives value is the difference between supply and demand.  When food is scarce then it is expensive because the demand or the need is high but the supply is low.

Men tend to want sex.  A lot.  That is called "a need".  If the supply is low then the price or value placed on it goes up.  The price translates to effort.  As a sweeping generalisation, before marriage, sex is rare and so the man (or boy) will put in a lot of effort.

However once married, the wife may think, as mine did, that it is part of her obligation to provide her husband with sex.  And for a while that sustains him.  As it did for me.  In fact initially I could not believe my good fortune.  We had both come from traditional Christian families and we had met through the Church and we continue to be active members.  So for me it was sex sex sex.  And without realising it, the value for me went down down down.  No longer did I have to expend effort to get sex.  I just had to say to my wife that I wanted sex and she would, without complaint, give it to me.  At the same time, she was also attaching a low value to sex but in a slightly different way.  It was seen as a sacrifice.  Sometimes painful.  Certainly not rewarding.  Not something to be valued and therefore not something to which she would exert effort to obtain.

So if sex is rare then the value will be high.
For him, he has to exert effort and that comes through waking up and reading his wifes needs.  And of course not doing the things that put her off.

Submissive focus

Changing habits can be hard.  Real hard.
In the past, I have often done things by saying maybe even boasting for want of a better word and then having to do it if that makes sense.  Actually when I think back there were a number of occasions as a child, teen and young adult where I would do that.  Like saying to a mate "I'm going to ask her out" then I would have to ask her out (even if she said no).  It was a way of getting over a hurdle of fear.

So now back to changing habits.  That is hard.  Try to change anything and it is so easy to slip back into the way we have always done it.

So I am firstly going to "say it here" - that hopefully galvanises me to do it.

I am going to say for 2 days going to focus on some behaviours.  I figure by limiting the time that I try super hard that I will actually do it and then at the end of the time, some of it may have become more habitual and also I can take a step back and self evaluate.

So what to focus on.
1.  To do one thing specially for her.  (Not a routine chore).
     Day 1.  A bunch of flowers.
     Day 2. 
2.  To do Every chore I can see -  washing and washing up.  All of it including hanging it out, drying, putting away.  Cleaning up.  Tidy up.  Even gardening. 
3. No TV at all.  Not turn it on.  Not watch it if someone else is watching it.
4.  I am actually not going to ask permission for anything.  I think she finds that anoying.  Childish.  Yet from a submissive point of view, I would like her to direct or approve everything.  But for two days I am not going to ask permission for anything.  I will do chores.  Every chore I can find.
5.  No arguing.  No questioning.  If she asks me to do something, I will do it.  Willingly, to the best of my ability and again not ask questions unless there is a real big piece of information missing.  Again what I am trying to do here is to say to her that I will be obedient and that does not have to be a burden to you.  A burden of triviality.
6.  No sex.  No asking for sex.  No hinting.  Suggesting. no begging.  Even though I really enjoy it when she teases, denies etc.  I think she finds this silly.  So for two days I will try and be sexless.  

So I will see how I go.

48hrs in plastic pants

So Late Friday night I am in bed.
Except for when I was in the shower, I had worn plastic pants continually for 48 hrs with the plastic against my skin.  It would get quite slippery inside.  Very stimulating.  Not being allowed to cum made it a big turn on.

I was so turned on.
My wife then let me cum but I had to keep the pants on till morning.
That actually was hard.  Not the cumming bit but once I had cum, I loose interested and it just becomes a frustration.  In hindsight fun but at the time anoying.  :)

An interesting observation on myslef.  While I was denied, I did feel sexual frustration but I also felt good.  Over the weekend I felt a little down.  At one stage I was anoyed with my wife and expressed my anoyance.  I was disapointed in myself.  Just an observation.

36hrs in plastic pants

I was so turned on last night.
By morning it has been 36 hrs in plastci pants.
A day and a half to go.
She asked me last night how long could I abstain.
In a way exciting but also she wanted me to choose a duration.
It would be much easuer and funner (less threatning) if she were to say - 2 weeks or 200 weeks whatever.  Mind you I do not want 200 weeks.
2 - 4 weeks would be a challange but also with the prospect of reward.

Plastic pants for 3 days

Last night I had conversation with my wife on the topic of sex.  This is pretty rare and so a real turn on for me.  In days past, I used to masturbate or engage in mutal masturbation with my wife with a plastic bag over my penis and some oil in it for lube. 

I got the impression that she was not interested in sex and somehow the conversation went along the lines of put a plastic bag on and do yourself.  As I was getting the oil I saw a pair of plastic pants of mine.  I asked if I could put them on.  She knows I enjoy the feel of plastic.  She said yes.  So I had a plastic bag with a little oil in it over my penis and plastic pants on.  Hard as a rock.  Put my boxers back on over the top partly to hide them and appear 'normal' and partly because I know she does not really like the feel of plastic and I would like to cuddle up to her.

I lay on the bed on my front and she slid her hand under me so she was touching my penis.  I started to move up and down.  I was getting turned on when she said.  "Not to night"  I asked "what did she mean" and she said "This is what you want.  you want to be made to hold off" 

Aw come on was my immediate reaction.  I was so ready to cum but I did not want to challenge her authority.

Then she said "I want you to wear the plastic pants right through till Saturday night and we will see what happens then"  Three days!.

So I did not get to cum.  Woke up hard and turned on several times during the night.

So here I am at work.  Figured I should write this and then get on with doing work rather than thinking too much about it all day.

Un engaging

I am curious and requesting your help.

I have noted a similarity across all areas of my life.  Work, home, social and this blog.  The similarity is that I do not seem to be able to engage for want of a better word with people.

I do not mean that I am a loaner.  But nor am I the person that people gravitate too.

This is evident here in the almost non existance of comments and yet it seems that most of the other blogs by submissive husbands draw half a dozen comments to almost every post.

Why I do ask myself.
What is it about those posts that elicits comments and what is it about my posts that doesn't.

So my request is not for you to make an artificial effort to respond to my posts about my submission and thoughts thereof but to respond to this post to say why you personally do not feel inspired to post a response to my other posts.  I jave a thick skin so please be truthful and direct.  The invitation is there to be critical.  I can take criticism and I promise not to get defencive or to sulk (too much).

My hope is that by learning here, that I can take that learning and apply it in other areas of my life especially in the relationship with my wife.

Thanks in advance.

Is submission just a way of dealing with lack of interest

Is submission just a way of dealing with lack of interest

So if a wife is not responsive to her husband does he try another tack and become submissive.