Feeling down.
Wife has been away.
Came home. No enthusiasm on her part.
She did not seem pleased to be home. She had a great time away.
Mind you the kitchen was not clean and for that I would have much rather she was clear that that was what displeased her and then to punish me for it. I have this feeling of "what's the point"
Obviously sulking here.
Apart from cleaning the kitchen I just don't know what to do.
Me and the kids gave up trying to use the fridge or even any of the food that she had bought before she went away. The cupboards were stuffed to overflowing. Likewise the fridge. Unusable. So each day I would buy the raw meat and vegies, bread and so on and then we would cook dinner and then throw out the leftovers because there was no room in the fridge. She controls the kitchen but in a way that keeps me out. I would love to share it or take responsibility for it but that is not where her head space is at.
Likewise with the clothes. The kids have draws stuffed with clothes so much so that they can never find anything. So with her away we would basically wash each day and wear the next day. So you can exist on two sets of clothes. But she never will throw anything out so we are surrounded by clutter.
And today she is out doing things that just have to be done. She does not tidy and she makes it pretty much impossible for the rest of us to de clutter either.
vent vent vent.
her phone is on the blink. Can I help? Would you like me to buy you a new one? Yes / no / maybe I don't know what I want. OK would you like a small one like mine or a larger one like you now have or a bigger one? Oh I don't mind. A small one I think. Like mine. I don't know. Maybe a bigger one. Like what you currently have. Maybe.
Finally at the end of all this I think she is going to go and have a look. But 'think' is the operative word. I don't know. In a weeks time I could be in trouble for not getting her a new phone or she may come home with a new phone.
I just want black and white.
Do this or don't do it.
I want to know what I am supposed to do and what she wants to do herself.
I was looking forward to her coming home. But now she is home its like same old same old.
breathe out.
Back to work
it is pretty obvious from what you are saying, that your wife is a hoarder, and you and your children are suffering for it. She has a mental illness (hoarding behavior) and needs professional help. At the very least, you and the children should get counseling. That might enable you to do something to save your children from the nightmare of living with a hoarder. Good luck, and God bless you.
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