A refrehing tingly bottom

I sit here this morning with a tingly bottom.

The result I must say with a smile of a whipping in bed last night.

Regular readers would know that I am a bit of a moody person and more often than I should I bemoan life.  Well a positive post today.

So last night could have gone pear shaped.  She was out at a meeting all evening and by about 9:30 I could sense that frustrating feeling creeping into my mind.  Eventually she came home.  The kitchen, luckily I think, was cleanish.  Complements more of the kids than me but none the less it was lets say OK.  I think too she sensed that perhaps I was in need of attention.  Anyway, whatever the reason, we were soon in bed.  Both pretty tired. 

I figured if she would not initiate anything then I would.  So I tickled her.  A nice giggle at first but it was not long before the tone in her voice saying "no" "stop" said to me "stop she is not enjoying this".  So I did.  Feeling frustrated and annoyed that she just does not seem to get into any active bedroom antics/

We lay in bed staring at the ceiling and had a discussion.  I was trying hard not to loose self control and get petulant.  I said at one stage words in effect inviting her to cane me or whip me.

She said "OK  Roll Over"
So I rolled onto my front.  I asked if I could put on a plastic bag.  Basically a plastic bag with a little baby oil in it over my penis.  Simulating and no mess.
So I lay there on my tummy in my boxers and bare back/chest.  (It's summer and hot here)
She got the electrical flex out of the bedside table and began to whip me on my boxers.

Wow.  Shocks of pain
Not hard in the sense of leaving weals and welts.
But painful.

I asked if I could cum and she said yes.  But I actually had difficulty reaching orgasm.  Getting old I guess.  She alternating between whipping and running the whip over and between my legs and back.

Then she used her hand to pull my boxers legs up like short shorts.  I find that very stimulating.  Possibly a reminder of my youth when at times I used to wear very short shorts.  Just the fashion of the time.

A few more lashes and some touching and that was the stimulation I needed to cum.

Ah so relaxing then and still refreshing now.

So now I sit here at work with a tingly bottom and feeling alert and awake.

I muse how ones perspective affects the outcome.  I feel alert and awake but had this been forced on me then I am sure I would have felt something different.  Depression?.  I and others got the cane at school.  Occasionally.  It was just one of the punishments that happened.  I never felt bad about it.  Fair cop would have been my response I think.  Fear while waiting.  Kind of feeling glad its over.  Possibly enjoying the 15 minutes of fame and attention displaying my strips to the other boys in toilets.  I suspect that if a child were caned now, they would have a much harder time of it.  They and others would see it as abuse and somehow that makes it harder to deal with.  It lingers as a negative thought.

Anyway enough of that philosophising.  I had better do some work.

Whats this submission all about anyway

The sub dynamic is somewhat lost in our relationship and so feeling somewhat disconnected I pondered what it was all about anyway.

I think kink is a very narrow thing.

I suspect that for someone with no kinks then they are at a loss to understand any kinks.  A person with a kink can appreciate, with a bit of thought, that others get stimulated by something else and that that is understandable.  So for example, even though I do not get turned on by.... say feet, I can understand that some one does and I am happy for them.

My wife however has no kinks at all and so I think she has a hard time empathising.

Now then I think about this submissiveness and what it actually is.

if I were to be in the dominant position then for me a sub would be someone who not only did what they were told, immediately and without argument but that they would also do everything.

However that actually does not turn me on.

In a way, my wife does far far more around the house than I do.  It is like cooking, cleaning, organising kids, ironing, washing just has to be done and she does it.  Then along comes slack old me and puts in some effort and tries to sexualise it.  Sometimes I have this image of her giving me a list of things to do and then getting out the whip ala work houses in the industrial revolution to keep me on task.

Or is it just that I am a masochist as opposed to submissive.

I recall in high school in English class probably when I was around 15 or 16 and we were reading a book in class and one of the characters got beaten up.  We had a discussion in the class about this and one of the aspects that was brought up was that he may have been a masochist.  That was the first time I had heard the term and in that context it was quite possible however at that stage I could not understand that a person could enjoy getting hurt or enjoy pain.

I should say that at that stage I had not recognised the kinks in me that had been present all my life.  For example since as young as I can remember, I would check out my friends beds to see who had a plastic sheet on their beds.  Who wore nappies at night and so on.  On the pain side, I received the cane a few times and even though I feared the cane I was fascinated by it.  I also was aroused in a prepubescent way when other kids were spanked.  I have a wonderful memory of a girl (probably about 10yo) from school in a kitchen when her mum hit her real hard on the top back of her legs with a wooden spoon.  There was a resounding crack and the girl crumpled to the floor crying and the mother commented on the best thing about the school uniform was it was short enough to give her a whack when she needed it or words to that effect.

OK so I have been kinky all my life.

And somewhere along the way, probably more recently, I have become aware that pain can be a stimulant.

Perhaps I should give up trying to be submissive.  Not that I do not enjoy that submissive mind space but more because my wife just does not get it.

Perhaps a more pragmatic approach is for me to be a more overt leader in the house.  Perhaps she would find that more attractive.  Then simply direct her to spank me or whatever.  I know some would say this is topping from the bottom but I think there is difference here.  Its recognising that however much I would like to be on the bottom, she does not get being on top in a sexual sense.  So we settle for just some pure pain pleasure.

Thoughts?

I wish I knew how to be attractive and submissive

It seems that women in general and I include my wife in that are attracted to men who are strong, assertive and confident and so on.

And yet I enjoy that submissive feeling.

How does one create a win win relationship.

bonus points for copying your wife in

Me and some of my mates were organising an activity together by email.

This came through from one of the guys wives.

Good job boys!
bob, double bonus points for copying your wife in to the arrangements!
X

 

(BTW Bob is not his real name.  I changed it to protect the innocent or is that the guilty  :)  ).