Actually feeling a bit more relaxed than I thought I would. Maybe old age.
There is a bit of a underlying depression that I am doing this because sex with my wife had become not only dull but also depressing because she obviously did not enjoy it. It seemed to me she hated it. She rarely got turned on. She did not engage in foreplay so really no chance of getting turned on.
The other reason for the depression is that maybe this state of abstinence will continue. The dichotomy is the abstinence it's self is kind of exciting. the sadness is that she is just not into me
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