Butt plug

Last night I asked

"why don't you put the butt plug in me"

And you answered the question.

You said something along the lines

"because it's uncomfortable" or perhaps you said "annoying"

I do not recall exactly what you said but it was along those lines.

How do you know it's uncomfortable.

So what if it is uncomfortable or annoying anyway.

You have put in in me once or twice in the past. Did I say it was uncomfortable or annoying?

Our love life is as much about listening as anything else.

I think you think it might be annoying if you were wearing it and so you do not put it in me because of what you think it would be like for you.

I think you would find it annoying or uncomfortable because you would approach it from that perspective anyway and what I don't know is how we get past that. Becuause whatever is causing you to approach it from that perspective is the same blockage that is causing you to see almost anything sexual as annoying or uncomfortable, or abusve, whatever.

So let me be quite clear

My memories of when you put it in me in the past are good memories. Maybe it was uncomfortable or annoying. I do not remember. I do remember a good experience though.

and

so what if it was annoying or uncomfrtable. For me that would be a much a turn on as it would be a turn off. Trying to deal with the conflicting feeling, the feeling of frustration. Do I want to wear it 24/7. No. Would I wear it 24/7 - only if you asked (read told / made) me do it. What I would like to do is try it, talk about it and try it again and talk about it again. Maybe 1 minute, maybe 1 hr maybe 1 day. Who knows and at this time who cares.

Immovable cold rock

You have no idea about what turns me on.
I would love to talk and open up to you but everything that turns me on you see as abusive or wrong or something.
You are a rock. Immovable.
You are so concerned with righteousness that you do not get turned on.
You look at me and you see wrong. You see something to be resisted, blocked, fixed.

I try to make space for you but you do not move into it. You are a rock. You are imovable.
You get your fulfilment from your girl friends, your work, your voluntary activities, your kids.

But your husband, well...... he just does not do it for you. And that really does not matter.

You do not communicate. You do not talk. I have absolutely no idea how to turn you on. I live in this silent world of attempting. Your resonse to me is the silent treatment.

I would do anything for you. Sounds pathetic. I guess that is what you see. I am pathetic. I can not excite you my wife. I can not interestest you. I put money in the bank and I drive the kids. I am a taxi driver and I guess taxi drivers don't do it for you.

weekend away

On Saturday my wife said to me "go pack an overnight bag"
I was interested. Things have been pretty ordinary recently.
We drove into town to a hotel. She had booked a room.
Dropped off a bag and went shopping. She bought a new top.
Back to the hotel and changed into more formal clothes.
A beautiful evening at a nice restaurant.
Back in the hotel room she undressed slowly and I stimulated her. She was moving against my finger and it felt good. Then she pushed me onto my back and started rubbing herself. It was great to watch.
She came and lay down beside me and went to sleep.
I was so hot.

In the morning we had sex and I got to cum.
Ahhhh

On my back

Came home at lunch time.
We both lay on the bed naked.
She asked me to come in from on top. Which I did. We had a conversation where I said I felt that given I had been a bit grumpy on Sunday that I should not get to cum.
She rolled us over and started moving on top and then she came and lay on me and relaxed.
Then she said roll over and cum.
I said "are you sure" and she said "that is what I said"
so I did.

At this time, she is "wanting me to be happy" and that is great but what I would love to have is her being happy and teasing me.

It's not that I do not want sex. I do very much.
I really want her to want sex and enjoy sex and for that to happen I need to look after her.

Evening conversation

So I asked to whip me and she said no.
She said she I had been very good today and she does not like whipping me and whipping should be kept for when I am bad.
OK fair enough.

I snuggled up to her in bed and tried to encourage herto have sex she said "you will be taking a break from cuming for a while and doing it right now would be just too much temptation"

ooohh the frustration already.

It is amazing what is "good frustration" and "bad frustration"
This is "good frustration" being teased, being not allowed to cum.
"Bad frustration" is that she does not "get it".

I would love for her to look me in the eye and lick her lips and then tell me to .....
do whatever - from pleasuring her to cleaning the house.

starting again I hope

This morning she told me to remove my pants and put on some lube then she got on top and worked her self.
I asked if I would be allowed to cum she said maybe.

Then there was some more discussin about how I behave when I do not get to cum and I said what about before christmas.
She said we came every day. The 12 orgasms of christmas.
I said what about the three weeks before when I did not get to cum and that we were both happy. I did not get angry or anything and I did things for you.
She thought about it and said maybe that was true.
I think she has selective memory.
So then I asked if I was going to get to cum and she said "lets see how well you behave for a week"
oooh so turned on.
Then I asked her to whip.
Just came straight out and she did.

Then she went back to sleep.
I got up and did the huge pile of washing up. Made me feel so subservient. so useful. so happy.
Then I cooked breakfast


Now this evening and I have this desire to go and ask her to whip me again.
here's hoping

Maybe its getting going again

The previous two nights I have ended up having a argument with my wife.
Both times I ended up sleeping on the couch.

Last night I said I was sorry and that she should ship me.
She does not like whipping me but she did it anyway.

She is though tesing me with sex.
She has said when I demonstrate self control by not yelling at her then we may have sex or may not.

So here I am turned on. Wanting sex. Been punished.

Actually I would lover her to tie me to the bed whip me and not ask how many or how hard. But that is not in her nature.