It is so nice just to talk

My wife and I do not talk as much as I would like.  I do not think she understands me and I know I dont understand her.  I think she has no idea about kink.  I suspect that she is not into self reflection.  Where I have a kink and I spend time on self reflection.

So it came as a refreshing change when last night she initiated a conversation about sex and she did it in a very direct way.  She said "lets talk about sex".

We had this great talk about how I enjoy it when she cums and she said that she enjoys it when I cum inside her but also we talked how she enjoys it when I simply hug her and when I rub her to orgasm.  And I also enjoy it when she cums like that and I do not think she really comprehends that. 

By that I mean, she will indulge me because I like something but she herself does not get enjoyment per se from the activity whereas when I rub her to orgasm or lick ker or simply hug her I get enjoyment or reward from that.

We talked about how I had an interest in chastity and I repeated my position that men do not NEED release.  If their body needs release then they have a wet dream.  Nature has taken care of that.  I talked about how when I have not had sex that I really really want sex and that motivates me to do nice things for her.  And that after sex I can have a range of feeling from contentment to actually feeling a bit down especially if I have received orgasm as a way to stop me being grumpy.  Its a sort of negative reinforcement of bad behaviour and at the same time a feeling of failure the same as I would have after masturbating.

She seems uncomfortable with all sorts of things that I like such as rewarding good behaviour with sex.  I think it is too cut and dry for her or perhaps makes her feel a bit like a prostitute.

She is certainly not excited about whipping me.

I think she sees tease and denial as cruel as opposed to fun / flirting / titilation which is the way I see it.  So she sort of does it but I do not think her heart is really in it.

I repeated that it is not that I do not want sex. I want more sex.  More intimacy.  More connection.  More physical interaction.  I saw orgasm as just one part of sex.

Anyway at the end she smiled and said that she was going to let me orgasm but in light of the conversation that as it seemed to suit me that she would keep me chaste a bit longer.  Then she had me put on some lube and push gently in and then move and then she rolled us over and rode me and she came and then lay there tightening on me and then she got turned on again and then a third time.  In light of the conversation there were a few times when I had to say stop I'm sorry or I will cum and she smiled and said "don't you cum tonight".

When she finished, she said get up, don't clean yourself, put on plastic pants, come back to bed, don't rub yourself and don't wake me up by tossing and turning.  Well that jsut got me so hard and happy.  My side of the bed has a plastic cover under the bottom sheet and so I ended up sleeping in plastic pants and every time I moved there was the slippery sensation inside the plastic pants and the crinkle of the plastic sheet and only a cotton sheet between my otherwise naked body and the plastic sheet. 

In the end we both fell asleap contented.  (I did wake a few times sweaty but that is the cost of having a kink I guess it's like an adiction)

the crinkly plastic sheet

It's fathers day this weekend and I wonder if that was my wife's motivation for putting the crinkly plastic sheet on the bed.  On my side only mind you.  But it is something I like.  Obviously I am kinky but the noise it makes, the slippery feel under the bottom sheet, perhaps conotations of childhood or bed wetting I dunno.  The challenge of sleeping.  Sweating.  Anyway she know I like it and she hates it and so I figure she is doing it for me.

:)

Back in the nothing much happening category

I have been a bit moody lately.  Somewhat depressed.  Over reacting to things about me and feeling generally not in control of my life.

She said to me that she thought this was because of abstaining from orgasm.

I said what I need is a jolly good whipping.  One where I do not get to choose how many or how hard.  Those decisions would be made for me.  But it should be jolly hard and many strokes.  She just said "um".

In bed at least I got some physical attention where she gripped my penis and dug her nails in.  I was hard as and it hurt like hell.

Slept well.

On yr bike son

My wife and some friends took the kids and went to a park for lunch.  I was to join them after I had done a few things.

When I was ready I texted to let them know I was coming in case they had forgotton something.

I received a text back that said <female friends name> says you should ride so I (wife) can have some more to drink.

Sounds like a plan.
I have never ridden my bike anywhere near the distance required.
So I pack a sweater and a drink bottle.
Hop on my bike and start peddling.

No expectation of orgasm

Being a guy I love challenges.
Climb every mountain.....

I am finding it both tough and interesting living without orgasm.
I do get this sort of tense feeling in my shoulders from time to time & have to shrug it off literally.
I do get hard very easily.  See a woman and it gets hard.
I do have more energy & stay awake better in the evenings.
I do do more house work.

I do I confess have a tendancy to get grumpy / moody / short tempered.  I want to work on [reducing] this.


It is good though coming at it without the expectation of orgasm.  I know from past experience that if I think I am going to have sex / orgasm and she is not interested then I get angry /
I do find it a real turn on to have sex where I do not get to orgasm.

Show day

The show is on here and we went in with another two families.  Husbands, wives and kids everywhere.   

It was very obvious that the mothers were in charge and the husbands were just there to carry things and watch children.

At one stage we were all standing around while dinner (as specified by the wives) was purchased and one of the wives said to me go and find us somewhere to sit.  I said "there is really no point in me doing that because you ladies will simply change whatever I select anyway". 

In hindsight that sounds somewhat petulant which was not the intention at the time.  What I was trying to verbalise was that us husbands recognised that the wives were very much in control.

I think also there was a bit of a feeling like I am happy to do whatever you want but it does frustrate me if I do it for no purpose.

Actually as I write this, I think I should have gone and done exactly what was asked of me and not even worried that they would over rule me and do their own thing anyway.

As I have written this, I wish that I could go home, confess and be whipped.

Bizzare arnt I.

Fem dom

Some generalisations.  I think these are true not just in the fem dom mind but generally true across the world.
- men are turned on visually.
- Men find womens bodies & clothes attractive
- Women may find some attraction to mens bodies but not to the same extreme as men do of women.
- Women dress to impress other women.

Young Women (as a generalisation) fall in lust with a man and will dress to a degree the way he wants.
Yooung women (as a generalisation) may have sex with the man because they think that is what he wants and that by giving it to him, the man will somehow be connected to her. 

Imagine if
- girls had the self confidence to not give the guys sex. 
I grew up active in a Christian church where sure there was the idea of men in charge and women to be submissive but there was also the idea of purity / chastity until marriage.  The expectation was that young hormone ravaged men could control it.  And they did.  In my case they did and in the case of others they did too.

I believe that with this commitment, it gives the girls security.  They should be secure in knowing that they will not be raped.

It also creates a sexual tension.  I believe that sexual tension is hot.

Imagine if after marriage, this sexual tension continued. 
Imagine if the girls did not feel like they had to give sex whenever he wanted it.
Imagine if they were confident to continue keeping the boy chaste and only allowed the men to cum when they wanted.  It might be as a reward or perhaps simply to create children.

Another random thought
have you heard the phrase "she dresses like a prostitute".
Now not having met a prostitute, I can not verify how they dress but I take that phrase to mean that "she" is dressing in a way to attract men.
I like that.
I would like that women would dress to attract men.  Dress sexy.
To me dressing dowdy is demeaning to the woman.

I can envisage a society where
- The women all dress sexilly, skimpy, flirty -> looks good & Keeps the boys attention.
- Men serve the women because they are attracted.
- men rarely get orgasm.  They get attention, hugs, kisses, touch, tease & denial, love.  But no orgasm.