Just want to submit

I woke up this morning really wanting to submit.
I want to abstain from orgasm.
I want to be whipped by her on a weekly basis.
Maybe it is a challenge.  Guys like challenges.
maybe if there was no possibility of me having orgasm, I would not get frustrated and anoyed when she was not interested.
My dream was that I be held off past the grumpy stage that I seem to get into about two weeks after sex.  So a minimum of 4 weeks abstinance.  And then only have sex where I orgsm if I have learned to control myself.
I would love it if she was on top and enjoying herself and orgasming and i was not allowed to orgasm.
It would give me a physically give me a way to implment self control and fee a degree of success.
Whereas at the moment, I not feel frustrated by the lack of enjoyable sex and the lack of firting by my wife, I also feel a lack of success in being able to self control myself either physically or in the words I speak. 

I see this as a way to achieve self control in general. 
Extended abstinance woud be frustrating physically but would lead to a feeling of "I can achieve something"
Plus if I only received sex after that if I said and did things to make her feel like having sex then that would help me get my thought and speach under control.

And being whipped.  I think the desire is is the reward I feel through physical touch.  It is painful.  It is totally focussing.  But unfortunately, she sees it as abuse and finds it hard to do and so does not really lay into me.  Yes it is painful but I would like her to whip me as hard as she possibly could.  It's a head spacething.  I would be happy for it to be either a weekly thing to remind me along with the physical pressure of abstinance but it would also remind me that she too is putting effort into the relationship or it could be as punishment when I loose it.  But I cant be both.  ie if it were to be a scheduled thing - say every Sunday night then it cant be punishment.  Different head space.