She feels bad I feel good

we had a chat the other day. One of those rare chats about sex that I so value.

I asked how she felt when she came and I did not.

She said she felt "guilty".
I take it that she is empathetic in that regard.

I think part of the problem is that she is not kinky in any way shape or form.
I said that I get great satisfaction out of her cumming and that if I cum then I end up diverting attention from her to me.

So anyway on Sunday night I lost it a bit with the way I spoke to her.  The rest of the evening was rather cold emotionally.
Last night, driven by hormonal desire, I suggested sex.

This progressed to another conversation where she said and I think correctly that why should I be rewarded for my nasty conversation through having sex.

We talked about how I value things like physical contact and time with her.
She values not being criticised and being told she is bad.  It seems that even the slightest criticism on my part is taken badly and I guess in the cold light of day, if I am to be truely submissive I should never criticise her.

The result of that conversation was that I was not to mention sex or rub myself in bed or snuggle sexually for three nights.  If I even mention or even hint at sex then the three day clock restarts.  Then after that she will touch and tease me but there will be no cumming for a further 10 days. 

To me that is punishment and reward.  The three days will be agony for me.  I know I will go through periods of feeling neglected.  That is hard.  When she touches and teases me, I know I am alive and loved.