feelings

I am on a bit of an emotional up and down.  Whats new you say.

On the physical side, I feel a sort of tightness in my neck.  Its a strange shrug your shoulders kind of feeling that I have had before when abstaining from sex.  Also a sort of knot or hungry feeling in my stomach.  Naturally I get hard easily and of course any thing in a skirt attracts my attention.  Yesterday I as I drove to work, I passed a couple on bicycles.  Both clad in lycra as they do.  The girl though was wearing a dress. I almost crashed. Luckilly we all were held up at the lights and I was able to admire her outfit in detail as she was stopped beside me.

I struggle with my wife's requirement for me not to initiate discussion on the topic of sex.  I so want to talk about it.  About my feelings and hers.  At the same time, I want to encourage her that I want her to be in charge and that I am not going to fight her and that it should work for both of us.

She at least has not forgotton and occasionally will touch me.  Last night, without being asked,I finished off all the washing up and then put it all away and made sure the kitchen was clean and tidy including putting the rubbish out and so on.  I tried to make sure that there were no loose ends.When I was done, she had been getting the kids into bed and we passed in the hall on our way to do the next chore and she stopped and kissed me and said "you are doing so well".  I often wish she would initiate physical stuff and so this meant a lot to me.

On a sort of related issue, I was having breakfast with a couple of mates after exercising this morning and at one stage one of the other guys commented that most GPS units have a female voice because men like to take direction from women.  I smiled quietly to myself and nodded in agreement.

It's kind of interesting I think that with no expectation of cuming, I get less moody and seem to have more energy.  I have this unfortunate problem that if things do not go as expected then I get moody.  So with no expectation, there is no moody and that works for both of us.