Back to the personal

Have had a couple of somewhat academic posts recently theorising over this and that.

I figured back to the personal stuggle.

So we have the obvious physical sturuggle of chastity.  This is for me anyway easier if she is "in the loop".  Asking how I am going makes it easier.  Totally ignoring me leads me to feeling down.  Two extremes.  Recently she has been nice and is asking how I am going.  It's been a while.  I have not been tracking the actual date but last time it was a bit of an oops did not intend to cum. 

I also really find I enjoy thinking about her.  Almost a renewed courtship in a way.  The drive makes me put extra effort into helping out at home, cleaning up, doing things with the kids.  I know that "subservent Husband"  uses the term docile associated with his chastity and yet for me it seems to be the opposite.  Chastity with her encouragement leads to energy and chastity without her encouragement leads to anger.   Right now I seem to be over that initial hurdle of emotions associated with chastity.

OK so back onto the academic.  As I have said to her in the past, chastity is like a long foreplay.  Rewarding to me.

On the relegeous side, I have almost all my life believed that masturbation is wrong or at least not good.  From a moral point of view at least, a man fixated on or distracted by masturbation will not have the drive to get his wife to notice or somehow find that her sex does not live up to his fantacy of sex.

She however I think feels an obligation to have sex.  She recognises that she has a lower sex drive and translates that into low expectations.  I think she feels well its no big deal to have sex.  It's something he likes and based on past experience, if he does not get it then he gets frustrated.  So instead of dealing with the frustration, she takes the easy way out and just has sex.

This is unfocussed waffle.  It has turned into more random thoughts.

I should get on with some work!