submissive vs dependant

I suspect that my wife sees submissive as equating to dependant.  One time when we were having a discussion about the topic of me being submissive, she said "I do not need another child".

On the other hand to me, submissive means acceting direction willingly, not arguing and being an adult it means that I can be given a big job and just get on with it.

Maybe this next bit should be a separate topic in its own right too but I think men sexualise everything and it seems that women do and say things that men read in a sexual way and the women never even considered it sexual.

Today on the radio for example, a lady was being interviewed over some incident that had involved her 10yo daughter.  The daughter had been in some dangerous situation that may have involved the potential of harm or abduction or something and the daughter had negotiated her way out of it.  I did not hear the whole story but her mothers comment was she was so proud of her daughter but now wanted to lock her up until she get married to keep her safe.  Now my mind jumps into kinky mode just imagining whereas I am sure the mother really has no intention of locking the kid up and even if she did it is "for her protection"

So what has this got to do with my wife you may wonder.

Well for example, she says it really hurts her to indulge me by spanking me.  Hurts her deeply inside. So it seems her resistance is not just that she sees it as kinky.  In fact I suspect that if she simply saw it as a kinky game then it would be easier for her and it would be nice if she even enjoyed it.  At the same time, she is quite happy to spank our kids or to get me to spank them.

Another example is that I like plastic.  Plastic pants.  A plastic sheet on the bed and some baby oil and snuggling up all naked.  She does this occasionally to indulge me which is loevely but she hates it. She says so she hates plastic.  For a while earlier in the marriage we had a plastic mattress cover on the bed and she complained that it was hot, sweaty, uncomfortable and so on.  I just gave up because it was just too much effort and she never really bought in on enjoying it.  But she has plastic mattress covers on all the kids bed "for protection" "just in case".

And the list can go on.  Women will do things that they see as being in the interests of the child or that is practical and men will read sexuality or kinky into it all the way.

Not sure how these two lines of thought go together or even why I wrote them.