Masturbation & Sex

What is the process of masturbation
physical pressure -> brain function -> lust -> masturbate -> feel good -> feel down.

Is Masturbation as sin?
The bible does not mention the word masturbation.
On of the central tennants of the bible is love and as masturbation does not in its self harm others then I would say that on that level, masturbation is not considered by God to be a sin.
However
During masturbation, you normally are focusing on that which you cannot have - lust - and that is covetousness and that is specifically listed in the bible as a sin.

Does a male need to masturbate?
I think that it is a common misconception that it is bad for a male to abstain from masturbation. The body will relieve itself in other ways, normally in nocturnal emissions - i.e., wet dreams.

If I do not masturbate
There is a physical pressure that drives my thoughts.
The thing then is how do I steer those thoughts.
physical pressure -> brain function -> lust -> masturbate -> feel good -> feel down.
physical pressure -> brain function -> abstain -> can havefeeling of frustration (see below).
physical pressure -> brain function -> abstain -> Find way to get wife interested -> feel good

So what if I do masturbate?
The first thing is that while I am doing it I feel good. The imagination runs wild. Lust, dreams etc. Then I cum. Then I feel down.
I get a immediate reward for the action. This prompts me subconciously to do it again. So I develop bad mental habits.
It is I suspect a bit like an addiction. At first the reward was great then I need more and more to try and recapture the feeling.

But I get angry and tense if I don't get sexual releaf
So having releaf though either sex or masturbation has rewarded me subconciously and so I end up repeating the cycle.
I would like to not get angry. I should be able to control this type of negative emotion.

I am married, how should it be?
My wife has much lower libido than me. Maybe as a result of my actions. Maybe for other reasons. Who knows. Certainly not me.
But I would like it to be like this.
I use the sexual pressure energy to focus on my wife.
I use that energy to do things to make space for her so that she does have the time and the space to get turned on.
Then she initiates sex.
In fact in a way she her initiating the act of sex is actually a response to my actions and that gives me pleasure to feel that my actions are appreciated.

The act of sex
Firstly, it is I think pretty much the case that women, given the right atmosphere can have multiple orgasms within a short time yet men once they have cum pretty much loose interest.

So to me we arebuilt in a way where if the guy is really focussed on the woman will in fact hold off until she has cum at least once. Otherwise she is likely as not, not to cum at all.


When should I cum?
Firstly, because I suspect like most guys, when I start to have sex I cum quickly, I would like to have to hold off until she has cum once.
I would like her to talk to me during sex and tell me what is working for her and what is not.
I would like her to give me permission to cum.