under pressure

Get a text from my wife saying she is going to a friends place and that dinner would be late.

Now I have spent the last 10 years trying to get her to have dinner on the table by 6pm with no success. So I take deep breath and shimmy then shrug my shoulders and say to my self "this is what it is all about". So I text her back saying "thats OK. Would she like me to cook dinner and what would she like". She posts back "yes and that she was going to do chops or steak" So I text her and ask "what time would she like dinner and could she text as she leaves her friends so I can complete the preparations so dinner will be served at its peak in quality". All good

I get home and get in the groove. The washing up has piled up again so while the chops are defrosting I get the washing up done. Then she calls and says we are thinking of having asian take away would I like to come over. I say yes (Eating on my own is a bummer). I am enjoying just going with the flow.

Later on, get home and get kids into bed etc.

Then I say to her, I think she should lie on the bed nude and I will massage her. She goes into the bath room and takes off her clothes then she walks into the bed room holding her nightie in front of her covering her breasts and then lies face down on the bed. I get the massage oil and gently but firmly massage her. Occasionally I brush her bottom as this used to turn her on.

Alas she did not get turned on.

At one stage the conversation went in that direction.

She said "I thin you can go another day"

Man that turned me on and so here I am. Early morning. Can't sleep. want sex. Not getting it.

The ache in my balls is less.

The feeling of inadequacy I realise has also gone.

I have been happier generally. Still a bit moody but much less so.

I am trying harder to listen.

Also noted in the conversation was that since I have been abstaining, I am a lot happier.

'isn't it strange that without sex, we feel a lot closer"

I wonder how long she will make me wait?

A far cry from me having her stand naked in front of me while I just lay in bed and looked at her. Sometimes as she stood there, I would stand up and run my hands over her or have her lie on the bed. I used to say "on your back legs apart don't resist me" and we would just have sex.