So yesterday I came home for lunch and as there were no kids home, she put on a short skirt. She knows I like short skirts. We lay on the bed and gently touched and she encouraged me with my fingers. She wanted my fingers inside her and I naturally obliged.
She came and was very content.
I went back to work.
When I got home from work, she said she hoped I had not been distracted at work and I said no very alert actually. She said that she felt bad that I had not had the same enjoyment as her and I assured her that I had was very ful filled.
I have not orgasmed now for several weeks. I have beasically decided that if she asks me to orgasm or asks me to go inside her and orgasm together then I will but I am not going to push her.
I have been looking for material on male chastity and tease & denial and there is a lot of it around but I believe that it all makes a mistake and that mistake is mentioning BDSM. There has to be a opening there to write a book but keep it purely vanilla. There was a woman who wrote a book called the surrended wife. No mention of BDSM. We need a male version of that. Maybe written by a couple where they give their perspectives.
The problem with even mentioning BDSM is that it is a distraction and conjures up images of whips and chains and dominatrix's in high heels. All of which I would love for her to be/do but it is not her and not her world.
"All of which I would love for her to be/do but it is not her and not her world."
ReplyDeleteI recognize this situation. :)
The book you're looking for has been written. Check out "Be Careful What You Wish For" by Sarah Jamison at: http://www.malechastityblog.com/
ReplyDeleteMy Knight and I enjoy a lot of tease and denial without the BDSM. It's taken me a little bit, but I've finally come to a place where I am not only comfortable denying him, but I enjoy it. I wrote a blog post about why I enjoy playing T&D games with my Knight.It's here, if your lady is interested in reading it. http://queenandknight.blogspot.com/2012/06/twenty-six-days-and-counting.html?zx=cd00a24def59ee68
ReplyDelete"The problem with even mentioning BDSM is that it is a distraction and conjures up images of whips and chains and dominatrix's in high heels. All of which I would love for her to be/do but it is not her and not her world. "
ReplyDeleteThe very thing that turns us vanilla women off of being the leader in our marriage is the implied requirement that we have to dress up like the cartoon dominatrix and use weapons on our husbands (who we love). Those corsets, leather and stilettos are uncomfortable, bizarre and scary to a regular person. The torture implements are anathema to many peace-loving women.
And many of us just don't want to deal with something so alien. Ideally, we would like to be loved as we are, not for trying to role play to someone else's kink.
I'm in the same situation as you are in, except with my boyfriend. I tried showing him movies/scenes (exit to eden, verfolgt, etc) and blogs about the topic, to slowly reel him into the lifestyle, even mentioning about wanting to quit my job and become a dominatrix, jokingly, but the closest we've got to was some light spanking, which I don't mind but we can do so much more.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog, I see your wife does partake in the fetishes you desire like whipping.. if you want to move on to a higher level, kink wise, I don't see why you can't just tell her your fantasies straight forward (like the marriage counseling one)
Hi Ava,
ReplyDeleteMy wife does 'partake' in my fetishes in that she indulges me because she loves me.
I think though that she finds the idea of physically hurting me whether it be through whipping or abstaining from orgasm to be an anathema. It's just not her.
To MsNaydi,
You put it so clesarly and so right.
It's just not my wife and it's not most wives.
Ava - you & your boy friend need to meet up with my wife and I and maybe somewhere in the middle some learning and understanding will take place.