She does not want to hurt

This is all a bit negative so you may wish to go and read something else. :) I got back from my work trip and when we hopped into bed, she immediatly started to rub my penis. I tried to caress her and so on. She said she was on her period and she know I do not want to penetrate her when she is on her period. So we had a stalemate of sorts. If that is the right word for it. There were all sorts of ways this could have gone that would have been positive for me but we ended up with me putting on a plastic bag with some baby oil in it. We have done this as a way of stimulating and masturbating without messing the bed etc for years. I ended up cumming and she did not even attempt to get turned on or respond. So to me I had an orgasm - OK that's nice but in all other ways this was a somewhat depressing interaction. It seems to me that she is either motivated to do something that she thinks I like -orgasm or she is wishing to reduce my sexual energy by having me orgasm because in the past I have become moody or grumpy if denied for too long. So from my point of view any or all of the following would have made for a much better outcome. a) Tease & Denial in any one of many forms - She could get me to put on the plastic bag and rub me or have me rub myself but tell me to stop when I get close to orgasm. Then repeat. b) Simply tell me that she is on her period and so there will be no sex for me tonight. c) Get me to rub her (through her panties and pad) until she cums. d) Engage in kissing, cuddling, discussion on abstinance, love etc etc. The only thing worse than what we did would have been for her to ignore me. That would have been emotionally painful. I remember once hearing a girl say on fashion that wearing the wrong thing is bad but not being noticed is the worst thing possible. I am not sure but somehow I believe it would be great if my wife could understand that physical pain is not bad. That abstaiance has benefits. That tease AND DENIAL is a challenge and so on.