Guys apparantly think about it all the time and that certainly is the case for me. Ever since puberty.
Read an interesting article on the net
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2008/11/20/hookinguprealities/sex-men-desire-it-and-women-control-the-supply/
Some key points for me in this were
Men are biologically programmed to want sex with a variety of women. It’s in their DNA. Their purpose is to inseminate as many women as possible to produce children. When a man is monogamous, he is giving up something he wants.ie men are already willing to sacrifice in order to get....
Because women control the sex supply, men have sought ways to please women through romance. In the hookup culture, guys are receiving the message that girls are satisfied with hooking up, and have no expectations of them. In sending that message, girls forfeit the most powerful leverage they have over men: controlling the supply of sex. If girls demand love and kindness in return for sex, they will get it.
Today, the market value of sexual access has plummeted. Sex is so readily available that men are not willing to give up much of anything to get it. Women need to start behaving in such a way as to increase the market value of sex to level the playing field and regain some control. The only way to achieve this is to restrict the supply.A powerful message that resonates with me. If women restrict the amount of sex men get then it increases the value. And it increases the value for both the man and the woman.
This resonates with my personal experience. If I get sex whenever I want it (and there are times when it is that way) then at the end I am left feeling down. A similar feeling that accomanies masturbation. If on the other hand I have had to work for it then it is an achievement. A reward. The feelings after are positive.
So in a way, men are preprogramed to be submissive to women in the sense of serving them in order to get sex. So the idea of a submissive male is in keeping with the general way men are.
For myself and others we are obviously making or wanting this to be a bit more extreme or a bit more front of the brain thing.
I would suggest that my desires are in a way completely natural. I want sex and I want valuable sex.
Take a financial example. I want a thousand US dollars much more than a thousand pesos. We know the dollars are far more valuable.
So if my wife restricts sex then the value of sex goes up.
But also so should the benefits. The most obvious benefit is we should enjoy the act more and before that we should see the benefits of my efforts to get it. These would manifest themselves in things like helping out around the house, buying her presents and reacting to her needs.
You are absolutely correct. We used to hear from our mothers, "why buy the cow if the milk is free?" This is why that makes sense today. *like*
ReplyDeleteHi MsNaydi,
ReplyDeleteThanks again for an insightful comment.
I wonder if parents (mothers and Fathers) have become disempowered and given up. Sweeping generalisation I know but there is so much pressure to parent right and yet if a parent disciplines a kid then they end up in trouble. Kids are fat but if you put a kid on a diet then the parent is condemed. So I suspect that these days mothers are hesitent to recomend or pass on knowledge the way they did in the past.
A pity because in the end, it is beautiful for both the man and the woman. She gets attention that she enjoys and he gets a reward and we all know that men are driven by challenges.