Taking the lead & Communication

 I have read a number of guides aimed basically at women who believe or at least are parts of religious communities where the expectation is that the man lead but then they go on to talk about [the women] need to let the husband lead or the wives need to put the husband on a pedestal and serve him and so on.  Who is taking the lead there?

In this post,
http://queenandknight.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/what-i-enjoy-about-our-flr.html
the wife talks about taking the lead out of necessity for her husbands well being.

When I actively lead my Knight his whole outlook seems to change - he becomes more confident in everything he does. That confidence even carries over to his work and his writing. He stresses and worries less, he is less moody, and almost nothing rattles him. When I lead him, my Knight is much less forgetful. His projects get finished. When I lead, my Knight knows exactly what he can do to "please me" and so he doesn't follow me around like a lost pup.

http://femdom101.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/humiliation-reward-or-punishment.html

I know these things about my man because we talk. Every night there is the special time we talk to each other. We talk as husband and wife, mistress and slave. John kneels at my feet, and there he tells me the secrets of his soul. There's no television, radio, or music.

The key in all these situations is COMMUNICATION

Something I my wife and I do not do well.