Discipline, recovery and she pleasured herself

I have another personal blog where I post my thoughts.  It is not public but my wife is able to read it.  She rarely reads it but recently she read some.

I thought I would post a page from it here.  Names removed to protect the guilty or innocent.

A very interesting night last night.

Firstly some back ground-

last night she got into bed and I asked if she would like to engage in sex and she said she was too lazy.  I suddenly got very depressed and started to mouth off at her.  Then after I had a good ole sulk.  I said I am sorry, I wish you would punish me and she did.  I was amazed.  She used the piece of electrical flex from the bedside table.  Cripes that is painful.  But this morning just some slight reddening and you can just see the outline of the flex.  Somewhere during all of this she told me that when she had said she was too lazy that she was saying it in jest because from time to time I have accused her of being lazy with both our intimate life and when it came to sex.  I suspect she had intended it as a bit of a tease.

Here is the post I wrote on my personal blog-

Good morning dear,


I hope you read this and thank you for reading my other recent posts.


Sorry I misinterpreted your comment about being lazy.  I did not realize it was in jest.  I guess I am hyper sensitive.


I would like to reassure you that I do not like being hyper sensitive.  I go down really quick and that in it's self is bad enough but when it is caused by a misinterpretation it is doubly silly.  I do want to be nicer, more reliable, dependable, etc 


When you whipped me last night, I was amazed at how quickly I felt better and how much better I felt.  I felt very awake, alert, clear.  It was quite amazing to me.


I contrast that with other occasions where I have sulked, continued to be miserable, not slept well, tossed and turned.


So yes some - and not an insignificant amount of physical pain but a way better mental health position.


This mornings intimate time was just wonderful.  Close and rewarding.  I am so glad you got to cum.  It was fun to not be allowed to cum and it was fun to be told to put on the condom and that you were worried that I may cum.  It was nice that even after your first attempt where you did not cum that you then rubbed against my leg and then came.  It really does give me a reward when you cum so please do not feel bad that I did not cum.


We looked at the marks on my bottom this morning, and yes you can see something but only just.  So be reassured that you are not creating any damage and you could especially when punishing me hit harder.  I think you indicated that you are hitting as hard as you can and I appreciate that but this means that you you do not have to worry if that makes sense.


 I would say though that it was very painful and that was good. There was the obvious benefit described above and I hope a degree of deterrent somehow built into my mind.


I love you.
I want to be with you.
I want you to want to be with me.
xo


In other areas - not sure why I have bladder issues again.  I get a sudden urge to wee.  So far self investigation seems to indicate not due to a full bladder because if I concentrate and not wet myself then the urge goes away.  If I simply go to the toilet each time I feel the need then I end up going almost hourly.   If I hold through then I can go several hours.  This morning I did a wee before showering and while I was towling off in the bath room the urge to wee came on so I stood in front of the toilet and just a little wee came out.  To me this indicates my bladder was empty but the urge was still there.  Another observation is that it does not seem to be an issue when either sitting or exercising.  It seems to be when standing.  Hmmm


 

So that is where we are at. She is getting more confident, I have not been allowed to cum for ages. Actually in a conversation recently, she said I may cum this weekend. I am taking this as a 50:50 chance. There are advantages every way. Its a tease - thats good, To cum occasionally - thats good.