You know "be careful what you ask for"
well I know I do not think my wife "gets it" but you know she does love me and while I often get a bit down and a bit moody I do think that she is trying.
So I have told her that I see chastity as being beneficial. I am a guy and I like a challenge. My suspicion is that most guys like challenges and probably the truth be told most would not want maybe this challenge but anyway.
So last night she is in bed early. This in its self is amazing. And I do confess to have been feeling a little down. A little moody, needy.
We snuggle and I ask if she would like me inside her and she says "no". This was not what I wanted to hear. I really wish that she would enjoy sex more. I back off and we just snuggle and she tells me that she has a rash down there. It is really hot here right now. She is talking about buying bike pants to use as undies.
Then she said to put some lube on and get on top. I have an electric candle on my bedside table. I switched it on and used the half light to find and apply the lube. I got on top and pushed in gently. It was obviously a bit painful for her. I was very gentle.
I was hoping she would push me over but she didn't.
I was very hard and really wanted to cum.
This was getting dangerous for my mood. It could have been one of those almost pointless sex sessions that to me feels like masturbation. So I did say that I think we should roll over and we did.
Then with her on top she was putting in effort and that is I think part of the (her) problem. I think she finds it really hard to get turned on. A lot of effort. Cripes I was so so close. While we were doing it I was wishing she would warn me not to cum. But she didn't. Then she came. Then she lay on my chest and teased me by tightening her mussels around my still very hard penis. oh God. (yes I do go to church)
BTW I once saw a photo of a church sign that said "Going to church is more than lying in bed and screaming Oh God"
then I asked Can I cum and she said "Of course" pause
Blast I thought. She does not listen. She not only does not get it but she does not listen to me when I tell her how I am feeling. You know 'they' complain that men do not share their feelings. Well women don't hear men's feelings when they do speak them. pause continues "Not".
"What" I said "I'm confused"
"Well don't be confused. This is what you wanted. You are not going to cum tonight"
Now I am even more turned on than ever and really really ready to blow. "O come on I said. I am so turned on" and she said "That's nice. lets keep you that way for a bit longer. You can hold on cant you". All this time she is on top and tightening herself on me. I was so so stimulated.
"yes" I say.
She slid off and lay beside me. I handed her the old nappy we use to clean up and she wiped herself. Then I wiped me.
We lay there. No top sheet (Did I say it's real hot here). I saw my flagpole in the half light and reached over and switched off the candle. "How long" I ask. No answer. In the silence I could hear her breathing. She had fallen asleep.
I was wide awake as one would be. But happy.
So does she get it.? Partially I think but only superficially. My thoughts anyway. Yours are invited.
I think that you should give your wife more credit than you do, she gets it and she does hear you. Actually, what's not being communicated and understood, is why your wife doesn't want to keep you denied, which is what you need to understand.
ReplyDeleteObviously I can't answer for her, but if she is anything like my wife, I can maybe guess a little bit. In part, I suspect that your wife may feel in some way guilty at not letting you oragsm, when traditionally it would always have been as part of your love making. This could be for a number of different reasons, either because she doesn't want to consider herself in this controlling way, or more likely because by allowing you to orgasm she thinks that she will have satisfied your urage and need to orgasm, thus avoiding the need to engage in any sexual activity for a set peroid of time. She may also consider that in the past by engaging in sex and having you orgasm, improved your mood and less likely to "pester" her.
It maybe now that you would like her to keep you denied, that she fears that you will become to needy with her, to demanding, and that she may feel obliged to indulge in sexual relations more often than if she had allowed you to orgasm.
What you need to do is try and convince her that denial, far from causing what she fears, will actual create a more positive situation for her. I have always said that unless your wife enjoys or can see benefits from denial why should she want to encourage it.
It's down to you to make denial and its effects on you a positive experience for her, so she will want to keep you that way more and for longer.
Hi At All Times,
ReplyDeleteYou are right. I should give my wife more credit.
Thank you for the wake up call.
She is very loving and concerned for me.
And I agree that she is concerned that not letting me orgasm will make me moody even angry short tempered because there have been periods of frustration in the past.
I agree that I need to make sure that a period of denial for me is a positive experience for her.