Recalibration of bedroom expectations

Last night <wife> came to bed very late.


From experience not a good time or thing.
<wife> tends to fall asleep and I tend to get cranky.
(Last night ended up like this.)

<wife> said something along the line of not being too keen on the dominant and submissive thing and (I think with a smile she said) that she could direct me to not be submissive but that was as we both recognised (with a smile) as being dominant anyway.


Then I asked "well what do you want.  What would your ideal husband be"
and the discussion tanked.


My thoughts are:
a) If <wife> is tired, she should be able to go to sleep.
b) I would like some feeling of being loved - ie my love language of physical touch.
c) Late at night in bed is not a good time to discuss things.


A potential solution for your consideration:
a) If you want to go to sleep, then simply tell me "That's it I (<wife>) am going to sleep.  Lie still and don't disturb me" - This panders to my desire to have you boss me around.  It also removes ambiguity of expectation (otherwise I may expect you to respond to questions and feel miffed that you have fallen asleep).
b) When you come to bed we spend an agreed time say even 15 minutes hust hugging, touching and being physical.


How would that be?


xo