A text from my wife

This morning I sent my wife an email similar to the previous post.

She sent a reply agreeing.

Then she sent me a text instructing me to sort out an insuance issue with one of our cars.

I have just received a text that reads

"Do I have your blessing to go to this new exercise class tonight at the gym. I will be home just after you put the kids to bed."

There is a subtilty with the wording.  You may note it appears that she is asking my permission but there is a sort of a catch here.  Firstly if I sulk and complain that she is out and I am lonely then she will say that she asked me and I was ok with it.  The next thing is if I say 'no' then she has a different engagement that would have resulted in her being out anyway.

Next I note the implied instruction that I will put the kids to bed.

And finally what is not obvious is that it is implied that if I am going to get my fix of 15 minutes of physical attention tonight then by the time  she gets home I must have done all of the following

• Kitchen & dining room table cleaned and
• washing up done or had the kids do it but that usualy means I do at least the last bit.
• Supervised kids home work.  (No TV allowed during the week).
• School uniforms ironed and ready in each kids bed room.
• Children bathed and in bed.
• I have put a glass of water beside her bed.

If any of this is not done, then she will do it when she gets home and that means that even though I will get attention it will not be for ages as as well as doing whatever I did not do, she will do other things and she will go and check her email.  on the plus side, If I do it, she will be happier and there is more chance of something exciting happening.  So guess we all know what I will be doing tonight. 

Incidentilly she took the TV out of the lounge room so if any of us want to watch TV there is a lot of rigmorole involved in bring it in and connecting it up.  So you can see how she controls things even in a non sexual way.

On the plus side, as a hang over from when I was more dominant and as a result of her christian upbringing and the idea that women should look feminine etc etc, there is a very good chance that she will wear her sexy short sports skirt to the gym.  It has built in lycra undies and I very much enjoy seeing her in it.

Recalibration of bedroom expectations

Last night <wife> came to bed very late.


From experience not a good time or thing.
<wife> tends to fall asleep and I tend to get cranky.
(Last night ended up like this.)

<wife> said something along the line of not being too keen on the dominant and submissive thing and (I think with a smile she said) that she could direct me to not be submissive but that was as we both recognised (with a smile) as being dominant anyway.


Then I asked "well what do you want.  What would your ideal husband be"
and the discussion tanked.


My thoughts are:
a) If <wife> is tired, she should be able to go to sleep.
b) I would like some feeling of being loved - ie my love language of physical touch.
c) Late at night in bed is not a good time to discuss things.


A potential solution for your consideration:
a) If you want to go to sleep, then simply tell me "That's it I (<wife>) am going to sleep.  Lie still and don't disturb me" - This panders to my desire to have you boss me around.  It also removes ambiguity of expectation (otherwise I may expect you to respond to questions and feel miffed that you have fallen asleep).
b) When you come to bed we spend an agreed time say even 15 minutes hust hugging, touching and being physical.


How would that be?


xo

Bit me on the tit

I am amazed.

Last night she hops into bed and bites me on the breast.
wow.
It hurt
It stimulated

Most of all though she did it with out being asked.


In other news (& thoughts musing and all that mind stuff),

We have not done her waxing yet as she was out at a meeting until late and we did not get into the bed room until after 10pm.  On a non work night maybe one could do something but when I have to be up at 5:30 and taking a child to a school thing leaving just after 6am

Its now 2 weeks for me with no orgasm.  She has come a couple of times.  We have spent much much more time cuddling and just being together.  So the benefits outweigh the costs.
I do have moments of grumpyness but trying to control those.  Wish she would whip me for them.
I find from time to time a feeling of "will it ever work again" sort of thing.  Hard to describe.

I am sure I am addicted to ... sex

Blogging

Is it porn when one goes looking for blog postings about submissive husbands and dominant wives?

Is it just too weird when I prick up my ears when I hear a mother or wife laying down the law to husband or child.  When wives / mothers set rules, take control and so on.

she came on top

I received an interesting surprise.  My wife has decided to get a brazillian.  Now many years ago we did this at home and she also went to someone hand had it done at one stage.  So twice in her life.

The reason is that she gets a rash down there and she is hoping the lack of har will reduce the irritation.

Whatever..... I'm all for it.  :) 
Especially if I get to do it.  <grin>

So out came the wax & materials but they all said not suitable for genitals. 

So I figured some research was necessary and so we lay in bed together with my laptop and searched the net.  Interestingly finding diy info on brazillian waxing is not as easy as you would think.  I suspect youtube see it as porn.  hey....:) and many of the other articles on the net seemed to be product promotions.

Then we got distracted looking at funny photos.
All nice an romantic.

I then sugested that she might like sex and wonderfully she did.  I put on some lube, hopped on top, pushed in gently.  We then rolled over and she moved herself and stimulated herself and came.  Gave me imense satisfaction too.

No wanking. memories in the corners of my mind...

I posted a response to

http://strictjuliespanks.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/aftermath.html?zx=eaf83ecca96f4c8

Thought it was worthy of its own post on my blog

When I was a lad.  You know 16, 17 and ravaged with hormones but interestingly struggling to resist masturbating.  I would latch on to comments to give myself strength. For example a sporting coach made what was probably an off the cuff comment that he wanted no wanking before the match because we should save all our energy for the weekend game.   Living in a school boarding house which had very little privacy actually helped as there was the constant fear of being caught.  But on top of all this I discovered that if I wore these really cheap nylon undies that if I rubbed myself then it would abrade my penis and make it red raw and so stop my from doing this.  Sort of like you boy and his 'damaged' dick.  I good way to cure someone of that self indulgent activity.

 I was able to go a whole term of 13 weeks or so without masturbating.  Wet dreams were common and a nusance in themselves as they tended to result in cum spurting right up my chest and making my pyjama top sticky.

In the holidays though, without the structure and fear of getting caught I would wank away.  But even though the thrill of orgasm was great there was the feeling of weakness that came soon after.  I actually used to look forward to the structure of the boarding house as it seemed that only within that structure could I have the feeling of success that accompanied resisting as opposed to the feeling of weakness or powerless ness that I felt at home.

The other thing that was a feature of the boarding house that helped me control myself was the fear of being labelled a 'wanker'.  My gut feeling is that those at the top of the social ladder could do what they liked.  But for those of us in the middle, the fear of sliding to the bottom was great motivator.  I valued being included from time to time in "in group" parties, illicit activities and so on.  'wankers' on the other hand were the lowest of the low. 

This dawned on me last night.  We lay in bed and had a chat.

I said: <wife> often talks about equality.

I asked her to think of our married friends.  For each couple who out of the couple is the dominant one.

Here are <wife's>answers and I agree 100%


Couple A - Wife
Couple B - Husband
Couple C - Husband
Couple D - Wife

<Wife> commented with words something like "I never knew I had to be submissive"

So what this says to me is that within a marriage,  Equality seems to not be the norm.  It seems that we end up with a dominant partner and a submissive partner.

Is that good or bad?
Don't know.

Maybe the problem we had was two dominant personalities.

 At the start of the marriage I tried to be the dominant one and hence her comment "I never knew I had to be submissive".

Initially I took on an overtly dominant position and forced myself on her and she resisted but capitulated from time to time.  Over time that took its toll on me.  She withdrew and busied herself elsewhere and I felt neglected.

When I look on the net, I find stories about how to keep a marraige together.

Irrespective of what type of marriage - Christian, secular, kinky, whatever the common thread is that both partners are very deliberate in expressing love for the other and both partners are basically in awe of each other.  They see their partner as the very best.  In our case I feel ignored or neglected.


Recently I have given up and basically taken the position OK you lead and I will be submissive. 

But I need to you lead.

A lovely evening and morning

She arrived home last night looking very sexy and young in a pair of denim short shorts.

I had spent the evening cleaning.  So the kitchen looked good.

It was late and she wanted a shower as she was a bit grotty.  With a smile on her face, she put her arms in that air and said "un dress me".  So I did.  Took it slow, kissed her and aletrnated between a top and a bottom.  Reisted the temptation to 'feel her up'.

She had her shower and I hopped into bed.  (Glass of water on her bed side table of course).

She came to bed and somewhere along the line I asked if I could put plastic pants on and she said only if you don't cum.  That was nice to hear and so I put them on.

We engaged in some intimate cuddling and then went to sleep.

In the morning again we cuddled but aso some nice talk.

She like cuddling and I thik in general finds it rewarding.  Like she likes orgasm but I think that requires the right head space and also it takes effort on her part whereas cuddling does not.

A big bonus we talked.

I decided to tell her that I had been looking on the internet for information about abstinance.  I said that there were all sorts of people and relationships.
I mentioned the catholic natural family planning people and said that I found it quite exciting in a way the way the women were talking about helping their husbands to abstain.

I think that taling with her that there were other christians where the wife was dominant sexually to a more or less a degree was interesting.

She suggested that she also abstain for lent.

I said to her that for me to abstain was hard but my observation was that for her to abstain was easy and therefore did not really sync with the lent idea.  I said that from my point of view what would be nice would be for us to use this time to build intimacy.  So if hegging was what she really liked that we should do more of that but it would be great to leave the path open for her to orgasm if she felt that things were right.

BTW I still had the plastic pants on and a few times I rubbed myself but did not cum.

I had mentioned to her when talking about the catholic NFP people that one wife had forbidden her husband to do any trusting or grinding. and that she had now been abstinant for several years.

She said that maybe we should try no plastic pants and no thrusting for a week and see how I go.  So we will see whether that happens.  I will find that quite tough as I have been finding having physical attention from her to be great.  In particular having her grab my hard penis and dig her nails in and also pinching and putting some clothes pegs on my breasts.  I think I use the physical pain as a way to get over the need to orgasm.  I suspect that as I get over the two week hump of pressure that the need for these distractions may be less and perhaps I could transition to no humping.  Or perhaps a variant is no humping but for her to inflict some pain.  We will have to experiment.

Anyway it was a wonderful start to the day.