Massage computer etc

I really enjoyed massaging you last night. It was a gift and I understood it made you feel good and it made me feel good to give it to you.

As I was giving you the massage, I reflected that it was not so long ago that I would offer to massage you and you would decline and then the very next day go and pay someone to do a massage for you. This used to make me feel really insignificant and isolated. So maybe you have changed ever so slighty.

After your shower, you went and tinkered with your computer. I had hoped that you would have read my blog but consistent with your self absorbed existance/approach/? you did not even think of reading it. Didn't even think.

After I calmed down a bit, I figured that probably you should not feel the need to read it anyway.

It is a pleasure when you do read it but I guess it shoudl not be the first thing you think of. As the leader, there should be bigger strategic things that need to be considered.

I really appreciate the things you do for me

Making lunches, Washing clothes, making really beautiful meals, Keeping the yard looking nice, Organising a social life with wonderful friends. Sex. Even looking after / trying things that you do not really like like spanking me.

Thank you.

Prayer

It was interesting to pray last night.

It was hard because I was asking God for something that at the first level seems to contradict what I read in the bible but then God is pretty big and I am sure he understood.

I also realised that I do not think that in the 10 years I tried to get you to be submissive that we ever prayed about it.

Maybe we need more prayer. Both individually, as a couple and as a family.

I was kinda sad that you did not seem to have read the page that I wrote a week or so ago listing ways to tease me or to increase the sexual tension / connection. I would of course love to hear from you what I do that makes you feel good

I thought it was rude when you fall asleap on me. I fully believe that it is your right to do so. It would be so much better if you simply said "I am feeling sleepy. I am going to sleep now so please stop talking" rather than feining interest and drifting off.

Are my expectations reasonable - Feedback requested please