That was intense.
So I drove home and she was already home.
I went into the bedroom and tied one end of each rope to the castors on the bed.
Then I changed into a pair of boxers and a tee shirt.
I lay face down and she came and tied me spread eagle.
Then there was a pause and then she stated.
It was very painful. The chord was doubled over and about half a metre long.
A few times she paused
A few times I cryed out.
I am glad she paused as it have me a chance to recover.
She would do some from one side of the bed and then go round to the other side and do the same number.
Later she said she 12+12 pause 7+7 pause 5+5 long pause 2+2
We had a sort of discussion afterwards.
I asked her how she was feeling and she said not much.
She did not enjoy it or get turned on.
She did it because I asked her to. She loves me.
We sort of had a discussion about her leading. She said she did not believe in their being just one leader. I take it she means that we should co lead. However I found that for the last 10 years that meant that she got her own way whenever she wanted anyway and that made me angry. By me letting her lead, I am at the very least protecting myself from the negative feelings associated with anger. I wish she would do some self anlasis or something.
Anyway. Back at work now and it is actually more painful now than it was immediatly after the whipping. There are raised welts. She did most on my bottom and some on the tops of the backs of my legs.
I would love some of you who read this to write comments. opinions. thoughts.
"However I found that for the last 10 years that meant that she got her own way whenever she wanted anyway and that made me angry."
ReplyDeleteSo she did not want to wear long pyjamas anyway? Or did you get your way in this matter (which is, in my opinion, something that you should not have had any say in anyway - what someone wears in bed should be up to that person)? I haven't read your entire blog, but I think you got your way in quite a number of things. Maybe you were just angry because you did not always get it? Or because she clandestinely did some things she felt she had the right to do, although you forbade her to do them?
Thanks Tamara for your comment.
ReplyDeleteSorry my blog made you angry.
It is true I don't get it. It in this case being I don't understand it.
I am sure that I often get my way. Probably much more than I rightly should.
"I asked her how she was feeling and she said not much.
ReplyDeleteShe did not enjoy it or get turned on.
She did it because I asked her to. She loves me."
This seems to have been going on for a while now. She's doing what she does because YOU want it. This is not even close to becoming an FLR. Abusing you doesn't arouse her - it probably offends her sensibilities.
Isn't this a HUGE clue, that you should retire the idea of an FLR, at least for the time being, and focus on living as equals, controlling your temper and trying to gently elevate her into thinking as your superior... very slowly and gently.
If your posts accurately reflect how she thinks, it's evident she's not a dominant, is probably submissive herself, and has a real issue with kinky sex.
If this is true (that she's submissive herself) then you need to change your outlook on your marriage, or get out of it.
In a FEMALE Lead Relationship, that is what usually happens, the wife gets her way!!! Hence the name! If you want her to lead, then you have to support her decisions, not get angry every time she makes one that you disagree with...the point is that SHE makes the decisions whether you agree or NOT!!!...scm
ReplyDelete