Today the day to be whipped

Well it is Thursday and at lunch time, I go home to my wife to be whipped.

It is a love hate relationship I have with myself and I have to confess that now that it is immenent to feeling quite aprehensive. Yes I could pull out and I suspect that my wife would find that a bit of a releaf because I do not think she is yet comfortable with the idea of inflicting pain. Well consciously and physically.

However if I pulled out, I know later I would feel weak and regret it.

I know that while it is happening it will be really really really painful.

So why do I 'crave' this. I have no idea.

Part of me says it is to try and cement her in a leadership capacity.
Perhaps I am compensating for lack of sexual fulfilment from her?
Maybe I am just turned on by pain?

I don't know but now I have to concentrate on work for a few hours.

Yesterday (Wednesday)
She asked me to hang out the washing - Which I did.

This morning I made sure that all the washing up was done and the kitchen clean.
I made sure the bed was made and my stuff clean and tidy.

Its 9:10am and I have looked at the clock like 20 times since I got to work. Do I want it to run slow or fast I don't know.

Also comments invited and appreciated.