Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Gave up

Had a discussion with my wife.

There seems to be three groups of sexually abstinent men.
1. More sexually denied by disinterested wives. Non kinky.  Just marriages fallen apart but they are sill living together in a sexual desert.
2. Catholic or Natural Family Planning (NFP) couples.  Wives very supportive and in a vanilla way dominate the man as far as sex is concerned to ensure he stays abstinent.
3. Kinky couples sub man dom wife. 

In types 2 & 3 the men are basically happy and the women are overtly caring for the men.

My wife was "bla" when it came to this activity.  She just did not care.  She is just not into me.

So I figured what is the point.

Told her that and we had sex.  Pretty boring sex.  I think she sees it as her marital duty.  She certainly does not get turned on and does not seem to want to get turned on.

Sunday, October 15, 2017

A concerned feeling

So yesterday I was really feeling quite concerned.  Maybe I'd never get to orgasm again.  Maybe once the three months is up I just wont be able to do it.  Luckily on this occasion my wife was quite firm in discouraging me from masturbating and she said no way to sex.

Friday, October 13, 2017

A worried feeling

Coming up to 3 weeks of abstinence.  The target is 3 months.  So today driving to work and sitting in traffic I had this feeling of dread wash over me.  I began to worry quite heavily maybe I will never get to orgasm again.  Maybe by the end of the 3 months, It will never get hard again.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

awake in the middle of the night

Woke up around 12:30am.  Wide awake until about 2am.
I am assuming hormonal changes are driving this.

I am also wondering whether once everything settles down whether I should then try to limit getting aroused and hard.  Just being sexless / plutonic.  Seems to be what the wife is / wants.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Two weeks -ok

Two weeks in.
I suspect I am getting older because it's much more benign than last time.
I am pretty relaxed.  Some days I do not get hard at all.  Other days something - usually a good looking girl in a short skirt will get me rock hard.

I am wondering whether, once the initial pressure has stabilised, I should try to not even have an erection each day.  Try for a kind of sexless existence.

Moodwise I have been pretty OK.  I do though sometimes get depressed in the middle of the night.  When this happens I get out of bed and go and sleep in the spare room

Monday, October 2, 2017

a little ache

So it's about a week and a day into abstinence and I'm sitting at work and noticed my balls are beginning to ache.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

a week into sexual abstinance

Actually feeling a bit more relaxed than I thought I would.  Maybe old age.

There is a bit of a underlying depression that I am doing this because sex with my wife had become not only dull but also depressing because she obviously did not enjoy it.  It seemed to me she hated it.  She rarely got turned on.  She did not engage in foreplay so really no chance of getting turned on.

The other reason for the depression is that maybe this state of abstinence will continue.  The dichotomy is the abstinence it's self is kind of exciting.  the sadness is that she is just not into me