Tuesday, October 21, 2014

She is buying a house

She is buying a house.
Not us or we.  She is.
She wants a holiday house.  She goes to see the real estate people.  She goes to see the bank.  She talks to the accountant. 
Sometimes I get cc'd on an email.

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Submission her way

I was away over the weekend with some mates.  Sunday night in bed and I stroke her back to see if she has any interest in sex.  Things progressed well and then she asked if I was still serious about this abstinence thing. 

What I wanted was for her to take a strong position and preferably one in which she had a raging orgasm and teased me but did not let me cum.

She said what she wanted was for us to cum together.

Bugger!.  But my thoughts were OK.  I like the submissive angle and so what I should do is do what she has expressed as her desire and that is that we orgasm together.

So things progressed and we had great sex.   We had a while with her on top and then we moved to me being on top.  She seemed to like that.  For me it is easier to hold off when I am on the bottom.  In the middle there was a fun submissive bit for me where I said I was getting close and she said not to cum that she wants us to cum together. When I was on top it was much harder to hold off and I enjoyed the challenge.  Finally she began to climax and I responded and we both came.

So in the cold light I day I think I did the submissive thing and that was to do what she wanted rather than engage in my personal sexual fantasy.

Thursday, September 25, 2014


I keep relearning that I think Men and Women have a different perspective on the idea of "submissive".

I fantasise about my wife giving orders and reinforcing dominance with a whip.

I think when it comes to submission, she sees it differently.  She wants me to submit without the force.

The question of orgasm control and chastity came up.
She would say things like "This is what you want" and "I do not want to be your mother"

I personally think neither of us associate submission with weakness or girlieness.  By that I mean that sometimes I come across blogs where the submissive man is put in women's panties, tights, skirts and so on. 

I think what she wants is for me to be physically strong and fit. To be happy positive. 

The idea of submission I think equates to looking after her.  Going with her when she organises things but being willing and competent to organise things for her.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

over a month abstinant

Over a month without orgasm.
On the one hand I cant stop thinking about sex.
About her.
About how different men and women are.
How we see sex in every situation.

For example as a family we watched the movie the Goonies on TV a few nights ago.  Basically this group of kids having an adventure running from bad guys through underground tunnels.  One character is a girl who is wearing a white miniskirt and a few times you see her undies.  For me amazingly erotic.  I mentioned to my wife and she just dismissed it saying the girls character was a cheerleader.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Sometimes I just wish she would whip me

Sometimes I just wish she would whip me.

Right now I just feel abandoned and un loved.  Frustrated and disappointed in myself.  lacking in self control.

I like to know the rules.
If A do B and so on.

I know it sounds weird but I would love her to tie me face down on the bed and lay into me with the whip across my backside.  To me the pain says love.  It says she cares.  It is both a punishment - ie get back on track and a expression of love.  Sounds weird but that's it.

It feels like I have drifted off course.  A taking on of an annoyance here.  A nasty word to her there.  A less than full support of her in the house work.  A feeling of the family becoming disconnected.

Selfish maybe.  probably.  A lack of self control - sure I admit to needing external control.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

10days abstinant

10 days of sexual abstinence.
Of course all I can think about is sex.

Femdom101 has a bit of a discussion going on overt FLR.

Got me thinking.  (not on the sex thing per se)

Tell a man what to do and he will do it with focus and drive.  He will put effort into it.  She will be free to consider other things or simply relax.  He will feel good about a job well executed.  A good experience for both.

Tell a man what to do an how to do it and you will end up with frustration and a crap job.  The woman will be exhausted and the man will be annoyed.  The job will be poorly done.  A bad experience for both.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Another FLM WLM blogger has a couple of posts on masturbation

Another FLM WLM blogger has a couple of posts on masturbation


I wrote a couple of responses on the "Im-Hers" blog and of course mused on the topic.  I had a look back on my blog and found that back in 2010 I had written a post on masturbation:-

Any internet discussion about masturbation will of course the age old question along the lines of whether men and boys should masturbate / should they be allowed to masturbate / should action be taken to prevent masturbation.

I wrote some of my teenage-hood masturbation on the Im-hers blog and reproduced it below.  The jist of that was that even with the raging hormones of teenagehood, the lack of privacy in the boarding house where I spent my school terms combined with the social stigma within my social circle combined with my desire to not slip down the social ladder meant that I would not masturbate during term time.  A period of 10-15 weeks.  So it is possible.

Now of course it is the thing of internet porn where the mother or father put their son in chastity and Im-hers points to a story of a mother who puts a device on her wayward son. You can read it via the link on his blog. Personally I think its fiction but there have been times in the past where parents have done the things that would normally be the domain of internet folklore.  The 2004 movie about Kinsey he mentions as a teen being made to wear leather underwear to prevent masturbation. I had a school friend in the boarding house who when he went home was made to wear plastic pants over his underwear.  I had a fascination for plastic now I know it as a fetish although I did not know the word at that time.  His parents were paranoid about image and apparently when he was younger he had wet himself in public and the parents interpreted this as bringing shame on the family so whenever he was with his parents in public he had to wear the plastic undies just in case.  Another example was I was helping on a church retreat one time and at a table 4 old ladies were talking and the topic was being given enemas or having to take castor oil or some other substance to induce bowel movements.  One lady said every Saturday morning and another responded with we had to do it Sunday night.  The memorable thing was that it was a regular thing not just in response to some illness.  These days any of these things would be considered farcical.

So will masturbation be prevented in teen boys and how?
My suspicion is that if it were, these days it will be done by medication - by drugs.  Simply because at present it is trendy to have your kids medicated.  I have overheard mums trying to out do each other in explaining the efforts they had to go to to get the doctor to put their kid on some behaviour modifying drug or other.

Will it?
That is harder to answer.  The world has become more public.  Parents have become disempowered and tend to do nothing.  The moral high ground no longer exists.  Maybe there will be a return to parental control but I suspect a while away.

There you go.  My treatise on masturbation for the day!

===My Teen Story===

With respect to my teen years. I went to boarding school so of course no privacy. I was also in the middle of the social ladder. Not one of the "in crowd" but also not one of the pariahs either. To be caught masturbating meant you were known as a "wanker" and a sure fire way to slip to the bottom of the social ladder. Wankers did not get invited to secret drinking parties or skinny dipping in the school pool in the middle of the night. Wankers would wake up to wet beds because someone would pour a jug of water over the sleeping teen. You get the idea. There was a lot of pressure not to masturbate and so during term time I would often go more than 10 weeks without masturbating. Naturally I would have raging hard ons during the day in class and wet dreams at night every week or so. That I managed by wearing underpants and a singlet so that the pyjamas did not get wet with cum.

During school holidays I would go home and without the self imposed fear of being discovered I would succumb and masturbate. A lot!. It used to make me feel weak and in a way I used to look forward to going back to school. To the structure of the boarding house.

So I think it would be possible for teen boys to not masturbate but it would require a change of societal attitude from the current Its OK basically encouraging boys to masturbate to a societal attitude recognising the lust and weakness associated with masturbation and that would have to be coupled with vigilance where I suspect everyone would be watching everyone else.

The point being it is possible for teen boys to abstain for decent periods of time.