Monday, March 30, 2015

Helping Her

I have been very busy helping my wife with a few of her community projects.  A good chunk of Saturday and from the conclusion of church on Sunday through to 2am (that's right 2 in the morning) and I was helping her on one of her projects.  The last hour was a drive home and she slept most of the way. 

Now she does not overtly like the FLR idea.  She talks about equality.

As I was driving, I thought about this.  I had given up other activities to help her.  The big picture activity was all hers.  All I was was competent engineering support if you like.  I made some of it happen using technical skills that I posses but it really was just helping her.

The point being I had forgone other activities and made space specifically to help her.

I thought back through the years trying to find a time when she had given up time to help me with something.  I could not think of a time.

Now I rather stupidly pointed this out to her when she awoke.  I asked if she could remember a time when she had made time to help me and she couldn't either.  Again at 2am its not really a kind thing to do to point out that she talks about equality but really its do what she wants equality.

Personally I would prefer her to be more overt in the sexual side of the marriage because she already has the non sexual side well and truly take care of.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Finances and Sub Roles

Over on the "Im-hers" blog, there is a discussion regarding finances and allowances

The key points I want to pick up on are that the wife (Katie) is in charge of the finances.  The husbands money is deposited into Katies account and then he gets an allowance from her and she is the key financial manager.

My wife has stated that she does not want to manage the money.  She does though.  She spends it.  She worries about it sometimes.  She seems to keep the receipts and so on.

My suspicion is that she would rather that I managed it.  I don't and that is because I am lazy.  I think she would prefer that I manage it and she spend it. 

I think she would like the responsibility divides where I would deal with tax and so forth.  I think she prefers to do the grocery shopping.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Stress releaf

I was a bit moody.  A bit stressed.

She said should she use the strap on me.  That is use the strap upon my bottom.  Put those thoughts away.

It is so much fun when she initiates.

She got my leather strap and I asked should I take my pants off.  She said yes.  Interesting because on occasion she has not wanted to see "damage" to my bum.

She strapped me as I lay naked on the bed.

You know it is pretty weird but it hurts (read stings) but at the end a real sense of calm washes over me.

Before doing this I had a mild headache but that was completely washed away.

After that we had sex.  Me on top being gentle.  She has begun in recent times to pinch my nipples.  That arouses me.  Its like there is a signal wire from my nipples to my dick and that says "get hard".

She did not unfortunately want to roll over and cum with her on top.  I guess it was a "I'm doing this for you" thing.

Anyway the key point of this post is that spanking can cure a headache :)

Thursday, March 19, 2015

Nothing much hapening

Kids take up time.
Cleaning the kitchen.
Feeling tired from work.
No time left for intimacy.
Deep breath.
Its life.

(I read back on my blog that in recent times she has indulged me and I am sure she will again)

I ponder though the freedom that I read about with people in a real sub relationship.
I also yearn for the love that I feel is expressed when the dom takes the time to give a maintenance spanking.  To me that is the quintessential connection of a BDSM relationship.  When the dom takes the time and effort and the sub demonstrated submission and is of course guided into subspace.
ah I dream....

Mind you the other day she said (not for the first time) have I though about finding someone else to play out my kinks with.

Any takers?  Probably need to be in Oz and live at least reasonably close to an airport.

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Another glimpse of what is possible

We have been going to see a marriage counsellor.  A bit ordinary in its self but it has improved things in the bedroom although I can not see a direct link.  I guess that's the thing with women.

The other night she had me put a plastic bag over my penis with some baby oil in it.  We started doing this way back as a way to catch the cum and avoid mess.  She then had me lie on my tummy on the bed and she climbed onto my back and lay face down on me.

She ground on me and I rubbed against the mattress.

The more we did this the more I moved into sub space.

She reached around and grabbed my nipple and squeezed it till it hurt and that just pushed me further in.  Then the other nipple.  Then she came.  I was so on edge.  I had wanted her to cum first because once I cum, I loose interest.  I was about to move into overdrive and cum when she said "That's enough for now.  Lie still"  I asked "Can I cum".  She said "not tonight. We'll see in the morning and don't wake me up in the night".

Wow the sexual tension.
I lay there on my back with my penis still in the slippery stimulating plastic bag.  Hard as a rock and totally wide awake.

Morning came and I had to get up early.  I whispered could I have a quickie before I got up and she said "Do you think you can wait until tonight".  I said "sure"  So totally torn with this sexual tension.  The wish to cum physically vs the fun of being denied.  Lets see what happens tonight.

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Sexual Submission vs domestic nothingness

Reading blogs and trying to filter out the fantasy and porn.
Pondering this submission thing.
A few themes come through.
I should try and collect some URLs that reference these.

1.  Domestic slavery and no sex
This theme is the husband who tirelessly does all the home duties but there seems to be a general disinterest by the wife in pretty much anything he does.  Its as if he has given up on the relationship and just does this domestic stuff.

Mind you I know that when I have not had orgasm for a while that there is a bit of a kinky self indulgent turn on associated with washing the dishes or doing other housework.

I see this as a bit distinct from where the wife requires the husband to perform these duties as part of his submission.

2. Feminising the husband
Getting him to wear womens underwear or skirts and dresses, high heels etc while getting on with doing the housework.

This seems an odd thing to me because it seems to reinforce the association of submission with femininity. 

I can understand getting sexually aroused dressing up in womens clothing.  I can even understand the idea that as gender equality progresses that it may become socially acceptable for men to wear what has been traditionally female.

The sub that would like to be is:
Identifiably male.
Strong.  Physically fit.
With a wife who is identifiably female.  (She can also be strong and physically fit)
Where my wife is willing and confident to tell me to do certain things.
Where I do certain tasks like say housework without being constantly reminded.
Where the social calendar is organised by her. (Which mine is)

I guess what I would like to see is the sexual tension element added to it.  That does not mean sexual intercourse.  In fact plenty of tease and denial.

I would also like there to be a physical spanking aspect.  I do not know how one reconciles that with the idea of the battered spouse but I would like to spank / hit me.  I mean she would say bend over or lie down.  Now obviously I am physically strong and fit enough to refuse but that is just the thing.  I wouldn't.  I would like to take a deep breath and bend over and be spanked / whipped whatever.