Friday, July 26, 2013

Sex again and a dirty little thought

We seem to be on a roll.

Last night (Thursday night) she came and sat with me. This was unusual as she is usually busy busy busy.   I was working on the computer and had a few tasks to finish.  The relevance of this will become clear in a minute.

When done, I got changed and hopped into bed.  It was about 10pm.  So earlier than the 11 that tends to happen but of course later than the 9pm when she had come and sat with me.  I am often complaining that she come to bed too late.

We touched and cuddled and I said we could do the same as last night and she said that tonight was for me.  She just not get that last night was for us.  Me and Her.  She had a great orgasm and thinks that because I did not orgasm that I was somehow left out.  In fact we had travelled together in the car in the afternoon for about 3/4 of an hour and discussed that.  In that conversation I had reiterated how much I had enjoyed it.  She had had a really powerful orgasm and said that that reminded her of why she valued an orgasm so much and wanted me to enjoy it as much as that.  So yes I enjoy orgasm but also there is a huge enjoyment from the whole activity.  Power, tension physical pain, submissive head space and so on.

Anyway it did not seem to be long before she was nodding off.

I confess I got a little edgy.  She had said "this was your night" (meaning mine) she had said.  So here I am thinking well if it is my night then put some bloody effort into it. 

A somewhat heated exchange took place where she pointed out that she had come and sat with me at 9pm and that I had just worked on the computer.  The word inertia comes to mind.  As does habit and history.  Mind you she sat with her new computer and phone and sent messages and did things.  Not like she did a strip tease or lay provocatively over my monitor.  even the cat knows that to get attention it has to walk across, turn around and sit on the keyboard.

At the end of this I felt down and she .... well... Who knows.  Anyway a few minutes later things picked up.

She said "get out of bed and get the plastic" in a angry way.  I assume she was angry.  Maybe I am too na├»ve like Sheldon (big bang theory).

She put oil on me.  Smacked my bottom - surprisingly painful and wrapped me in cling wrap.  Ohh that is sexy / kinky. 

Then she said lie on the bed and rub your self.

So here I was lying face down in a tight cling wrap leotard for want of a better word.  Very turned on and rubbing and getting close.  She moved away from the bed and I could hear her rummaging.  She was getting the cane from where it was on the floor behind the dresser.  She ran the tip of it inside my thighs and across my bottom.

My mind went back to school days.  Grade 7. 12 or 13 years old and we had school assembly where we would stand in the quadrangle.  A big square of bitumen with a platform at one end.  We would sit in class lines.  A line of girls and then a line of boys.  I was prebuscent and no sexual interest in girls but in hindsight already kinky.  Anyway on one occasion we were getting ready for assembly and a group of us boys were sitting in our line and a group of girls were standing in a line in front of us.  The uniform skirts were sufficiently short that you could see their undies (sports briefs - settle down men.  When we were at school it was normal and did not have the sexual connotations that it seems to have now).  A girl in front of us had two dark brown bruises across the backs of her thighs up close to her undies.  A picture that fascinated me then and sprang back into my mind last night. 

I will probably be arrested for dirty thoughts.  I did not mention this mental image to my wife who thinks I am weird enough as it is but you lot get subjected to it.

Anyway with the stroke of her cane and the backs of my thighs exploded.  My wife apologised.  She said she missed.

She did not realise her stroke fitted in so neatly and exactly with my memory.  I almost exploded in orgasm.  I restrained myself and asked "May I cum".

She said "yes" and landed a few more on my plastic covered bum.

I orgasmed and relaxed and lay and relaxed on my tummy.  She was still stroking the tip of the cane inside my thighs.  I wondered what she was going to do.  Funny.  Now that I had orgasmed I really did not want her to hit me.  I was prepared for her to do so and I was not going to discourage her but it was interesting to note that my dream or desire for pain had evaporated with the orgasm.

Pretty weird hey.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Sex and she enjoyed it!

We have not had sex for some weeks.  She had been somewhat affectionate during the day but no interest in bed and I had been mildly depressed for want of a better term.  It just did not seem to be worth the effort.

So much so that my penis was not getting hard. Getting old maybe.  But also feeling un loved.  Unnecessary.  Un appreciated.  Out of the loop.  Pointless.

As a generalisation, each night I would have a whinge.  She would call it a rant. I would feel depressed thinking over and over about things that are in my opinion not right.  This whinge seems to either occur when we first go to bed or at about 3am. 

So last night, she comes to bed and as she gets changed does a little strip tease in our bed room.  Matching bra and brief set.  Very sexy.  I start to get interested.

In bed she strokes my penis and I run my hands over the back of her thighs. Quite a long session of touching.  This is great.  Touch is very much my love language.  We end up in a bit of a rhythm with me being gentle with her clit through her undies and she on occasions digging her finger nails into be hard penis.  Ah so nice.

I am in a bit of a sub space.

At one stage I offer to lick her.  I would do anything of course.

She just says to be gentle and at another time she makes a comment "I wonder when you will put your fingers inside my undies".  There is a sensitive balance between going too fast and too slow. 

There is also a conflict inside me.  Being in a submissive mindset means that I want to be told what to do and when.  Perhaps submissive mindset should mean be on your toes.  Be alert.  Read her body and react to it and that that does not mean do nothing until told.  None the less it seems to me, the challenge is to be proactive with out "topping from the bottom".

At one stage I lay back on my back and she put her hand up under my tee shirt and pinched, and twisted my nipple.  Woh so painful.  She is getting good at that.  I thought I detected some extra thrusting by her.  Maybe she is repressed sadist.  (be real unlikely).  She then moved her hand back to my penis and observed it was even harder.  For me it was an interesting mental place to be because I knew that she was then going to do the same thing to the other nipple.  And she did.  I was torn between knowing and wanting and knowing and fearing.

Somewhere in all of this I asked if I would be allowed to cum and she said maybe maybe not.  She said I don't want you waking me up in the night and I said Just say the word.  Don't let me cum.  Take control.  I was torn between begging and letting her know.  Trying to say I am really enjoying this and the sexual tension associated with abstaining is really fun for me.

Somehow we ended up with her undies off and me just pushing in.  She did not want me go right in.  Just tease her clit with the hard end of my penis.  That was driving me wild.  Then after what seemed an age she got me to work my way in.  We did not use lube and we took it slow.  Wow.  She was trusting harder than she had in a long time.  I was struggling not cum.  wham bam thankyou mam and it would have been all over. Luckilly she said "don't you cum".

We moved together on the bed and she came good and hard.  She lay back exhausted.  Of course I was still hot hot hot.  I lay on her with my penis inside her and moved my top to one side so that I did not restrict her breathing.  She was breathing deeply.  I was so turned on.  I moved slowly in and out.  Stimulating my self.  I said "can I cum" and she said "not to night.  lie still and don't wake me running up beside me in the night".  After a while she said "That was great.  It's time to sleep now.  Pull out"

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

recognising who is in charge

The wife and I have been seeing a marriage councillor off and on for a couple of months.

The councillor wanted to see us separately and yesterday my wife went.

She had double booked herself having agreed to pick up a friends kids from daycare.  I left work early to collect them and then to baby sit.  Things that I am more than happy to do.

When my wife got home I asked how it had gone and so said OK.  I did not want to push the discussion because what she and the councillor talk about is their business.  My wife did however say that they had talked about how I (husband) believed that someone should be in charge and that my wife thought that marriage was a partnership 50:50.

Now my contention here is that we don't have a 50:50 partnership.  If she sees that something should be done a certain way then it is done that way.  If it is something she does not care about or does not know about then it gets done my way.  ie 0:100 or 100:0.  I guess that averages out to 50:50.

I get to configure her computer, back it up, sort out bugs.
She decides
when and where we holiday.
What we eat and when.
What is purchased.
How the house looks, is cleaned.....

Now even though I tend to be a moody.  Right now not moody.  Feeling great actually.  Quite happy to 'be submissive' to go along with whatever she wants.

I just wish that she would recognise that she is in charge and makes the decision instead of pretending that we have this 50:50 thing.

Now she may wish me to take more responsibility.  If that is the case then she needs to let me take responsibility.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

All good deeds

She is out .... naturally.
I actually do not mind that.  I am out all week at work and I like to just chill at home.
She has started dinner and I and the kids eat together.
Play a board game with the kids and then they go off and have showers and baths and get into their pjs.  In between whatever kids who are not in the shower are with me in the kitchen cleaning up. The dishwasher is unloaded, re loaded and set to run. 
Kids into bed and some bed time reading and a prayer with each.
Back up to the kitchen.  So even though the dishwasher is full and running the place is still a mess.

Wash up the rest by hand.  There is a lot of it. 

of course I sexualise it in my mind.

Putting in extra effort.  I get youtube going on my laptop with the external speakers (doors to kids rooms closed).  The music is pumping.
And the kitchen is clean.
I look over it.  Benches wiped down.
I try to make it look as good as she does.

Into the bed room,
turn back the bed.  Glass of water on her bed side table.

I sit back.  Channel surf a bit but nothing worth watching.
I am relaxed and she arrives home.

Somehow we end up in the bed room with her wiping baby oil over my body and then wrapping it in plastic.  Tightly.  Like I imagine a corset would be.  Its like a leotard in coverage and tight around my.  And slips and slides against my body.  I love it.  She hates plastic so this is a real treat.
Into bed

We lie and cuddle and I rub a little and she says "do you think you can wait till the morning' and I say 'If you tell me too'
She says:  "Time to sleep (It was after midnight by now).  Lie still and don't wake me"

Morning comes
I am so turned on

I ask If I can cum and she says yes and I explode into the plastic.

Then we drift back to sleep.

Ahh so nice

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Who Cares

Feeling down.
Wife has been away.
Came home.  No enthusiasm on her part.
She did not seem pleased to be home.  She had a great time away.

Mind you the kitchen was not clean and for that I would have much rather she was clear that that was what displeased her and then to punish me for it.  I have this feeling of "what's the point" 

Obviously sulking here.

Apart from cleaning the kitchen I just don't know what to do.

Me and the kids gave up trying to use the fridge or even any of the food that she had bought before she went away.  The cupboards were stuffed to overflowing.  Likewise the fridge.  Unusable.  So each day I would buy the raw meat and vegies, bread and so on and then we would cook dinner and then throw out the leftovers because there was no room in the fridge.  She controls the kitchen but in a way that keeps me out.  I would love to share it or take responsibility for it but that is not where her head space is at.

Likewise with the clothes.  The kids have draws stuffed with clothes so much so that they can never find anything.  So with her away we would basically wash each day and wear the next day.  So you can exist on two sets of clothes.  But she never will throw anything out so we are surrounded by clutter.

And today she is out doing things that just have to be done.  She does not tidy and she makes it pretty much impossible for the rest of us to de clutter either.

vent vent vent.

her phone is on the blink.  Can I help?  Would you like me to buy you a new one?  Yes / no / maybe I don't know what I want.  OK would you like a small one like mine or a larger one like you now have or a bigger one?  Oh I don't mind.  A small one I think.  Like mine.  I don't know. Maybe a bigger one.  Like what you currently have.  Maybe. 

Finally at the end of all this I think she is going to go and have a look.  But 'think' is the operative word.  I don't know.  In a weeks time I could be in trouble for not getting her a new phone or she may come home with a new phone.

I just want black and white.
Do this or don't do it.
I want to know what I am supposed to do and what she wants to do herself.

I was looking forward to her coming home.  But now she is home its like same old same old.

breathe out.

Back to work