Friday, September 30, 2011

lunch friday

Wife and I decided to go out to lunch today.
I came home from work, picked her up and we went to a local restaurant.
She looked at the menu and chose a meal and a wine and then just sat there.  Without saying anything more.  The message was clear though.  This was one of those restaurants where one has to order and pay at the counter and then the meals are brought to your table.  I got up and went and placed our order.

It may be back on again

Last night we were having sex.
She knew I wanted sex and we had had sex twice last weekend and she had orgasmed both times and both times it was with her on top at that point.

She asked me to be on top 'to start with' and I asked if she would like me to use some lube and she said 'no'.  I was not sure what to make of that so I tried to be very gentle as I pushed in.  She I think finds this part hard and painful a bit anyway as she screws up or tenses her face.  Anyway after I was in I asked if she would like to rollover so I was on the bottom and she was somewhat noncomittal so I just rolled us over.  Now she was on top.

She began to move and I decided I would try to hold off cumming the first time so I would remain hard if she wanted to cum a second time.  She was more animated than she had been for a while and it required a lot ofrestraint on my part but she came and then relaxed on top of me and I found that very rewarding.

After a while I said to her "what do you reckon about me abstaining for a while"
she said "what would that achieve"
I said "i'ts a challenge, learning self control, focussing on you, not getting into a cycle of expecting sex and then getting grumpy when it does not happen".
We discussed this a bit longer and then she said "Starting when?  Right now?"
And I said "gotta start sometime".
She said "OK" and lifted herself off me.

We lay there in bed with arms around each other.
Then she said "Go and get me some aloe vera from the pot plant on the verandah"
so I did. 
She anounced she was going to read in bed.  This is something that usually really annoys me.
After a while I asked if she had thought about how long she would have me abstain for.
She said "we will see how you are going in two weeks  then we may do it and then try for three or at the two week point we may just extend it to three"
I was so turned on.
The fact that she engaged in the conversation, the tease of not knowing whether 2 or 3 weeks.

I then asked her to whip me if I become grumpy or pushy or especially if I am anoying in bed and grope her or anything like that.

So now I am feeling great.  Turned on of course.  But quite clear headded.

Lets see how we go.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Nothing much

It seems that effort is a difficult thing.
On the one hand, it seems to me that my wife puts no effort into sex.  She puts a lot of effort into her various interests and projects.  Just seems that I am not one of those.
That then means that for me, eventually, attempting to be submissive and to focus on her, just runs out of steam.
If I get no feedback from her, no reward, no acknowledgement then it is kind of what's the point.

Now I in no way believe that men 'need sex'.  Yes there is physical pressure and that drives a desire for release.  I am willing to sacrifice that release for her or for our relationship.  If she does not need or want sex then that is OK.  But I guess I need intimacy.  I need some kind of feedback.  That could come from being told 'do this' or  'do that'.  Or if she does not want to boss me around as another child but wants me to be proactive then some thanks when I do things would be nice.  But as far as I can see I get no response from her.  If I do something then I have done it - ok but she says nothing.  If I don't do it then she does it and generally still says nothing although too much of this results in a 'you never do anything type of statement'

So I don't know and right now we just seem to exist in parallel universes that come together in the same house but thats about it.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

nothing happening

She is not interested in my submission.
Makes it hard to be motivated.
Not sure what to do.