Saturday, May 30, 2015

Blow up

F%$%     F**&*     F&^&^%

Unmet expectations of intimacy last night - Lost my temper.
She let me cum this morning.  Undeserved.  unintimate.
Lost my temper with her again after breakfast.
Had a shouting match with 15yo son.

Feeling crap!

Friday, May 29, 2015

Abstinance and disturbed sleep

I did not sleep well last night.  It felt like from about 1:30am that I was awake the entire time.  I suspect that is more of a feeling than reality because I was awoken by my alarm hence I must have been asleep.  My suspicion is that I was getting blocks of about half an hour of sleep.  I suspect this is a side effect of no orgasms.

My wife has kindly begun to play the game and said no release until Saturday.  At least some attention.  In bed at night she spend a few minutes kissing , cuddling and pinching me especially on the nipples.  Pretty sure she is not really into it but it is far better than the distancing that had been the state of our relationship.

I am wondering wether I should await for the opportunity to have a release most likely on Saturday or whether I should ask her to keep me abstinent for longer and maybe indefinitely. 

In a way it is kind of fun to be abstinent.  Yes there is that tension of wanting to orgasm but the fun thing is that I am thinking of her and wanting to orgasm all day.  If I get sex then usually it seems that she doesn't really get into it and I leave feeling a bit down.  A bit like masturbating.  And then having had that release, I don't think about her during the day.

My reasoning for going longer abstinent is that I hope that as my hormones restabilise that good sleep would return.  The other reason is continuing to think about her and looking forward to being with her.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thursday and we wait for Saturday

Still holding off.
Last night she treated me to some physicality.  Pinched then bit each nipple.

Then we slept but I did toss and turn and snuggle up to her a couple of times in the night that disturbs her sleep.

In the morning she again treated me to some physical touching.  I said that I was torn between wanting to cum and wanting to stay abstinent for longer.  Said that with extended abstinence that I would hope that I would get over this restless sleep and leave her alone  to sleep better.

What I would like but did not mention is that it would be nice if she were to punish me if I were to disturb her sleep.  Then there would be a feeling of control by her and submission by me.  I figured though she is not so much into that sort of thing and so may be a conversation too far.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Tuesday almost done

So Sex was Sat AM.
Now Tuesday.
Maybe if I am lucky this coming Sat.
The anticipation is fun.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Back on

Last week she said I could not come for 5 days.  That was up on Saturday and we ended up having some sexual activity on Saturday morning.  After some intimate kissing she told me to put on a plastic bag.  A bit of baby oil in it for lube.  I lay face down on the bed and she got on top and ground against me.  I asked if I could cum and she said yes.  She came and I came and that was fun.

Then Sunday and we lay on the bed together.  This was the first time in forever that we have had a lazy Sunday afternoon on the bed.  I put my hand on her thigh.  It seemed right after a while to move a little and gradually I got to rubbing her between the legs.  I have learned slow and with plenty of anticipatory tease (for want of a better word).  I did end up with my fingers stimulating her clit and inside her undies.  She came. 

I was hard as and Snuggled up.  She said "Remember a week this time"

O god that just makes me want to cum all the more but at the same time I don't want her to allow it.

I also said after that what is the plan.  She said maybe a bit longer 10 or 15 days.  I said what about really long term what's the ultimate goal.  She said she would like to have "normal" sex.  Oh bit of a let down there.  I took our conversation to mean that she is just doing this abstinence thing as a sort of tease which it is but that she has this idealised vanilla idea of sex that in a way I describe as lazy sex on her part where I will romance and fuck her all in the one activity.  Anyway for now I will enjoy the tease. 

And eagerly await next Saturday.