Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Frustrating conversations

Here is a conversation between my wife and I
When we talk, I try to ask open questions but when Iu don't answer then I try to guess.

Me:  "What colour car do you like best?"
Wife:  (long pause)
Me:   "I think you like red cars?"
Wife:  "Well if you know what I like, why did you ask"
Me:    "I don't know what you like.  When you did not answer, I tried to prompt an answer by being a bit more specific."
Wife:  "You told me what I like:
me:     "I didn't tell you what you like I said 'I think' you like a certain colour"
Wife:  "See you get angry when we talk.  That's why I don't say anything"
Me grr gave up.  because now I was angry.

In the morning.
Wife:  "What would you like for tea tonight?"
Me:     "Well steak is my favourite but I am happy to have whatever you would like"
(In the above sentence, you can see the submissive side of me in the second half of the sentence)
Wife:  "I was thinking a chicken casserole would be nice"
Me:    "Sure that's fine.  Chicken is your favourite"
Time passes.
In the afternoon, I am taking kids to sport and my wife prepares dinner.
Setting the table.  I carry the plates from the kitchen to the dining room.  As I pick each one up, she says who it is.  Soon all places are set except hers.
Me:   "Where's yours?"
Wife: "Oh I'm having a juice detox"
grrr I think to myself.  Chicken is your favourite meat and Steak is my favourite meat.  The rest of us are eating chicken when we could have eaten steak.  We could even have all gotten on board and had a detox together and supported you.  But you decided to do a detox and not tell anyone.  The whole thing made me feel like crap.


  1. I guess I don't understand how "Well steak is my favourite but I am happy to have whatever you would like" is responsive to "What would you like for tea tonight?"


  2. Hi gat1207,
    I guess there were two parts to it. The functional
    What food would I like for dinner?
    I would like steak. That is what I would like.
    and the second aspect being that what I would really like is to have whatever you are having. That is I will put aside my desire for steak in order for you to have whatever you have a hankering for.