plastic pants

Got into bed.  Hinted at sex.  She said she did not want to do sex because her marina (IUD) is overdue for replacement.

comment: Kind of disapoints me what little priority she gives to things sexual.

She said "put on some plastic pants"

Comment: well that was a pick up.

So I put on plastic pants with a drop of baby oil and then my pj pants and hopped back into bed.  Naturally I was very very turned on and she rubbed me and that was good.  I asked if I would be allowed to cum and she said "maybe".  I love it.  Then she asked "what would I do if the positions were reversed".  I actually don't like that.  Makes me feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel disapointed that she needs to hear it again or something.

So I figured I would say what I wanted to her.  I said "Well I would tease by rubbing gently but not allow me to cum"  I included a statement along the lines of how good the tease was and how much more attentive I was when I needed to cum. 

Somewhere along the line I asked her to cane me.  She was not really interested but eventually she agreed and I went and got the cane and she did some half hearted whacks.  She was not enjoying it.

Gave up.

She rubbed me some more and said I could cum.  I did.  That was the end of it.

I ended up feeling a bit down.  Frustrated that she just does not get into things sexual.  She has no understanding of kink.  It seems nothing turns her on.

Men desire it, women control the supply

Sex

Guys apparantly think about it all the time and that certainly is the case for me.  Ever since puberty.

Read an interesting article on the net
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2008/11/20/hookinguprealities/sex-men-desire-it-and-women-control-the-supply/

Some key points for me in this were

Men are biologically programmed to want sex with a variety of women. It’s in their DNA. Their purpose is to inseminate as many women as possible to produce children. When a man is monogamous, he is giving up something he wants.
 

ie men are already willing to sacrifice in order to get....

Because women control the sex supply, men have sought ways to please women through romance. In the hookup culture, guys are receiving the message that girls are satisfied with hooking up, and have no expectations of them. In sending that message, girls forfeit the most powerful leverage they have over men: controlling the supply of sex. If girls demand love and kindness in return for sex, they will get it.

 

Today, the market value of sexual access has plummeted. Sex is so readily available that men are not willing to give up much of anything to get it. Women need to start behaving in such a way as to increase the market value of sex to level the playing field and regain some control. The only way to achieve this is to restrict the supply. 

 A powerful message that resonates with me.  If women restrict the amount of sex men get then it increases the value.  And it increases the value for both the man and the woman.

This resonates with my personal experience.  If I get sex whenever I want it (and there are times when it is that way) then at the end I am left feeling down.  A similar feeling that accomanies masturbation.  If on the other hand I have had to work for it then it is an achievement.  A reward.  The feelings after are positive.

So in a way, men are preprogramed to be submissive to women in the sense of serving them in order to get sex.  So the idea of a submissive male is in keeping with the general way men are. 

For myself and others we are obviously making or wanting this to be a bit more extreme or a bit more front of the brain thing. 

I would suggest that my desires are in a way completely natural.  I want sex and I want valuable sex. 

Take a financial example.  I want a thousand US dollars much more than a thousand pesos.  We know the dollars are far more valuable.

So if my wife restricts sex then the value of sex goes up.

But also so should the benefits.  The most obvious benefit is we should enjoy the act more and before that we should see the benefits of my efforts to get it.  These would manifest themselves in things like helping out around the house, buying her presents and reacting to her needs.

Sex

Well we are doing ok.
This morning we engaged in some intimate sex.
I was hard and on my back and she got on top and she positioned herself so that the tip of my penis did not enter her but was used to stimulate her clitterous.  Such a turn on.

At one stage when I was getting very close she said 'don't cum'.  That was fun.

We discussed teasing and denying and I suspect she is hesitant to try this because she can not tell when I am too close.  I wonder how she could learn that.  ?

Taking the lead & Communication

 I have read a number of guides aimed basically at women who believe or at least are parts of religious communities where the expectation is that the man lead but then they go on to talk about [the women] need to let the husband lead or the wives need to put the husband on a pedestal and serve him and so on.  Who is taking the lead there?

In this post,
http://queenandknight.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/what-i-enjoy-about-our-flr.html
the wife talks about taking the lead out of necessity for her husbands well being.

When I actively lead my Knight his whole outlook seems to change - he becomes more confident in everything he does. That confidence even carries over to his work and his writing. He stresses and worries less, he is less moody, and almost nothing rattles him. When I lead him, my Knight is much less forgetful. His projects get finished. When I lead, my Knight knows exactly what he can do to "please me" and so he doesn't follow me around like a lost pup.

http://femdom101.blogspot.com.au/2012/10/humiliation-reward-or-punishment.html

I know these things about my man because we talk. Every night there is the special time we talk to each other. We talk as husband and wife, mistress and slave. John kneels at my feet, and there he tells me the secrets of his soul. There's no television, radio, or music.

The key in all these situations is COMMUNICATION

Something I my wife and I do not do well.

Plastic pants

Just as I begin to dispair that she is not interested in sex or in me then she will suddenly do something for me.

She knows that I am turned on by plastic.
I knows she hates plastic.  Any mention of it and guaranteed thats the end of any sexual play or possibilites.

A mexican stand off.  (Why is it called Mexican I wonder).

This morning I got out of the shower, towled off and walked into our bed room.  She met me at the door and said "I would like you to wear plastic pants today".  There on the bed I could see my plastic pants that have sat in the bottom of the bottom draw.  Un mentioned for months. 

Wow.
So now I am at work.
Wearing plastic pants.  Feeling the plastic against my skin.  I know its weird, kinky , strange whatever.  But hey.
And I am thinking of her.

Thinking of her positively.  Not bemoaning my fate or sulking over her apparant diinterest in sex or me ....

But I do wonder why there are those few ladies who do seem to have self motivated interest in things sexual.  Who do make the effort to engage sexually with their husbands.
Who tease them
Train them
and I suspect in the end both are happy.
Husbands get attention.
Wives get served.

musing on this and that

I was thinking as I do about submission and kink.

These are random thoughts in no particular order.

I am I suspect both but are they one and the same.  Is submissive a kink could a man be genuninely submissive

I have a male friend who has in recent times had bouts of depression.  I do not know if he is being treated or just gets down a bit (as I do).  Both our families were on a bit of a day trip recently and we parked in a tricky spot.  Steep, narrow road and a very tight parking spot which required a bit of finesse to get in and out with the help of someone to wave and give advice.  When it came time to go, him and I packed the cars while the women took more photos, looked at the view and so on.  naturally I sexualised it and saw it as being a servant.  No idea what he did.  But then his wife came over and said "He's not driving I don't trust him".  Wow I felt for him.  To me a huge kick in the guts.  No wonder he gets down.  To me being submissive is strength but I suspect he is just beaten down verbally.

I wonder how much is driven by sexual drive. 

Dancing Boy

One of my wifes friends came over.  She has a boy the same age as one of our sons and they are friends at school.  The boy came with her.

There is no father around from what I can see.

There was interstingly a girl at our house at the same time playing with my daughter.

The strange thing was that both visiting kids had the same name. 

Next interesting thing is that the mother has the boy do dancing.

I wonder as the feminine influence increases whether we will see dancing and other traditionally female activities become more common for boys.