A few days into abstinance

The wife seems more affectionate which is wonderful.

Mentally I'm in a good place.

The wife has asked each night how I am going and that's nice.

I told her that after the last period of abstinence that it actually was a bit painful to cum.  That was back when we abstained for lent.  She asked if I'd read about others feeling that I and I said "yes".

I asked if she enjoys the period of abstinence and she said yes.  I think she finds sex painful and she is not into sex or pain or giving in that way.

We wait and see how my feeling and our relationship goes.

The start 3 months abstinance

She has asked me to go 3 months abstinance

Not wat Dom sub should be

I've been reading a fair bit on the internet and really I do not think the sub thing I am doing is working or healthy.

It seems to me that essentially my wife is simply not interested in me.

I have tried all sorts of things and being submissive is one of them.

But it has not made the relationship any more intimate.

When I read about submission on the net there are two people and two roles.
The dominant who cares for and loves their submissive.
The submissive who loves the dominant and does whatever to please the dominant. 

I am quite happy to be submissive but she has to show a bit if emotion.  A bit of care.

So feeling very very alone here

stress

So we had sex and that was good.
Now she's on her period and says I have to wait.
Ah now that was fun.

In other news, I'm at work early and stressed.  Too many deadlines and not enough time.  So here I am wasting time on displacement activity.

I so wish the boss would come into work, stand me up and have me bend over the table and cane me.

Then tell me which one of the gazillion things I have to do I should do first and give me a deadline and if I don't make it, I would be caned again.

Sex ahhh

She had been on holidays for the last week and before that I had been abstaining from sex for lent.  The main reason though to abstain was to try to give her space to get interested in sex again.

She got back and she offerred sex.
We did it.
Started with me on top,
rolled over and she worked herself up
I was so so so close and I asked if i would be allowed to cum and she said yes.
After abstaining for 6 weeks boy was I ready but I would have enjoyed it if she'd said "no".
Any interest is good interest.


So we did it and it was good.
I wonder where to from here.

Happy to receive instructions

The wife is away on holiday on her own.
The washing machine died.

We have a front loader and I actually hate it because you can't open the door to add that last item and so on.  So I text me wife and inform her it is broken and she says she's happy for me to sort it out.  I clarify that she is OK that I buy a new one and she says yes.  This left me in a quandry because her text could easily have been interpreted to mean buy whatever washing machine I wanted.  So I considered to go out and buy a new top loader.  But instead I sent back a text to clarify and she said "10kg front loader".

I mused to myself that this is actually fun.  She has now given the specific instructions and even though the detail is at odds with my preferences, I am very happy to make it happen.

Calming down

Home alone and it was harder to not be emotional.  Yesterday I went through a range of emotions from almost angry that our love seems so sparse or maybe that I'm doing the abstiance thing because I am sick of boring sex.  Some feeling of pointlessness.

Last night and today i was much calmer.

Maybe a goal could be to be unemotional like she seems to be when it comes to sex.

anyway I'm feelong OK and now at work.