whipping punishment and reward

I got grumpy last night.  Sulky.
As I write this, I have momentarily forgotten why.
In bed, still feeling moody but calmed down.
I said to her that she should punish me for being grumpy and she said OK get the cane.  I said you can use the electrical flex if you like and she said OK get that.
I switched on my bed side light, got it and gave it to her and I lay face down in my boxers on the bed.  She whipped me about ten time.  Cripes it hurt.  Then she started to just stroke my legs and back with it.  I real mix of the punishment with teasing.  Then a few more unexpectedly.  Then she finished.

I put the chord back in the bed side table draw.  We hugged and kissed.  I thanked her.

We lay back.  Hand in hand.  It was nice.  It was not long before I could tell she was asleep. Regular breathing.  I though was wide awake.  Mind alert.  I am conscious that I have a tendency to get moody.  many times I have gotten sulky because she falls asleep in bed.  So I am having to mentally put myself in a place to avoid that.

I ponder that the whipping was like both a punishment and a reward.  It hurt and it was in the context of having gotten moody and being punished for it but also I find that the pain helps to clear my mind.  I know it is not politically correct but it does.  Its almost like an aspirin or a coffee in waking me up and clearing the mind.  Or even exercise.

I then thought a scary thought.  I would like her to tie me face down to the bed.  I would like her to whip me really really hard.  I want it to be so hard that I scream.  I want her to not stop whipping me when I scream.  Weird hey.  I know that when it is happening I will be regretting it.  I will be wondering why I was so stupid to ask for it.  I will be wishing it to be over.  I know it will hurt and hurt a lot.  But still that is something I dream or fantasise about.  Weird hey.