Thursday, January 6, 2011

no effort

We had sex last night but
she was tired.
she had said in the morning she was tired and would need an afternoon sleep.
whenever she is tired she never gets turned on (sweeping generalisation here)
So the bedroom doors were left open (limits noise making opportunities)
She asked for lube then later said that it was "too easy" and maybe she needs to have to make more effort to get me inside her - I agree there.

She said she was doing it so we would both get a good night sleep. OK fair enough so I said, all you have to do is tell me to lie still and not disturb you and you will achieve your good nights sleep. Even when I was inside her and she had decided she was not going to cum, I offered again. I said you can just tell me to pull out now. Have fun. Take charge. tease.

instead she gave some smacks on the bottom. Not so hard though. I asked if I could close the doors to contain the noise so she could smack me harder but she said no.

She said she wanted me to cum. I have been trying to do whatever she asks without arguing so once she had said that I humped a but harder and came but it was not anything more than a physical release.

lazy sex is my term for it.

So I am disappointed that she did not make the effort to have a sleep.
I am disappointed that she then did not just say "not tonight"
Bit negative all round actually.


  1. Excuse my drool. That lazy sex stuff sounds mighty yummy for a guy a hairs breath from four months chaste.


  2. I know the feeling when chaste, I become totally focussed on her and on me wishing to cum. Exactly the reason for chastity. I love it when she asks how I am going. Acknowledging that there is not just the physical pressure but also the sort of emotional maybe adictive sort of feeling that is there. I guess she will never experience the ache of my balls that starts about a week after. Nor the frustration of lying in bed when she is asleep and I really want her to wake and give me attention but I know that if I wake her then there is no longer even the slightest chance of sex.

    Let me tease you some more. I was reminded of the contrast between now and the first few years of mariage. At that time, we both believed that the wife should submit to the husband. So at times, I would just tell her to go to the bed room and take off her clothes and lie on the bed. I would say "on your back legs apart". She would do it. Having been brought up in a concervative christian family, I think she felt that she should do it if that makes sense. Then I would run my hands over her body. She hated it and if she cringed then I would keep rubbing and groping in that area. Then I would just have sex with her. Initially this was a huge turn on for me and in hindsight I think it was because she was making a huge sacrifice for me. Eventually though it lead to a total loss of intimacy she would just lie there and have sex. The ease of having sex totally devalued it. The fact that I could no longer turn her on made me feel insignificant. I think too that she went from believing that she should submit to her husband to seeing me as weak.

    Now with me taking the submissive role and only normally orgasming when she gives the OK it has refreshed the relationship. She I think keeps me chaste not because she enjoys it but because she knows I enjoy it. And I do. Its scary to give up power but it is also exciting.

  3. I do think most woman need a man’s assistance once married to bring out their inner slut. After a whole life previous of their parents telling them to keep their legs crossed, awakening their sexuality is a slow process. Short skirts, low cut blouses with bra tops, sensing other men’s oggiling, all is a talent that takes time to adapt and I think all husbands encourage.

    …and yes, that put a pressure on my CB.


  4. Here
    I mentioned that when we were first married, I would take her shopping and buy short skirts.

    I would love her to bring out her "inner slut" but it will take a lot of coaxing.

  5. I'm sorry about the lazy sex. I'm hoping my Wife will want to initiate more this year, too. I guess it's Her perogative, though. We'll see.