Monday, August 6, 2012


Cripes I am a moody bugger. Perhaps born of frustration. A feeling of being unable to communicate to my wife nor understand her. I read some sub blogs where they revel in being ignored as their wife goes off with another man. Thats not mee. For her to kiss another woman would be a turn on for me but partly because I would not see it as replacing me but rather as her exploring sexuality, branching out into something adventurous. I also subscribed to some information from a Sarah Jamison and she makes the point that none of this will fix a marriage that has existing problems. A bit of a conundrum (if thats the right word). I think for some and me included this sub thing is a way of trying to revitalise the marriage. To revitalise the relationship. Spice it up. So at the moment, it seems we are in a bit of a trough and so I suspect my posts will be more philosophical and less descriptive because there is not much to describe.


  1. It has been just recently that I told my wife that I wanted her to take charge of our marriage and become the decision maker and the driving force behind our relationship.
    I have felt this way for quite some time and have wanted to say something sooner. I was very pleasantly surprised with her reaction as she told me that she has wanted the same thing for some time as well.
    We discussed what we each expected and it was fantastic to find out that we were, for the most part in perfect harmony. This is a good thing because for over half my life I have been making decisions about everything and I am tired of it. I am ready to relinquish control to her and serve her. I love being told what to do and the fact that I do not have to guess any more what she wants is refreshing to say the least. As time goes on and our relationship remains strong, I would be open to taking her name, but that is a ways off for now.
    I would be interested in hearing what some of you have gone through and how you handled things.

  2. Hi Vincent,
    You are one lucky guy.
    "she told me that she has wanted the same thing for some time as well."

    In answer to your question
    "I would be interested in hearing what some of you have gone through and how you handled things"
    This will be the short answer. To read the long answer, just read this blog.

    Some of the things and reflections for me are
    - Firstly, we both came from a christian background and were actively involved in the church and so even though today the church really is active in promoting female equality and so on, there was still for us a degree of expectation that the husband should lead and the wife follow. Maybe we extended that too far in that we would practice her submission especially in bed where I would touch (read grope) and have sex and she would not resist. So it is a bit of a mind flip especially for her to go from that extreme to the extreme of leading.

    - The next thing is that she is much more social than me. She can juggle a complex calendar of commitments and friends. I find that stressful. I just want few commitments and I do not want to have to decide between conflicting calendar events.

    - I think I have probably not been as clear and consistent as I should have been. So there is I think a degree of unsuradness on her part as to what I actually want.

    - I do not think she is into being overtly controlling especially in a sexual way. I think she wants me to lead in bed whereas I want her to.

    - I think she thinks male abstinance is weird. With that I think she thinks it really is part of the wifes duty to give her husband basic boring sex whenever he wants it even if she doesent. I think in fact the opposite and that is that if he (read me) only gets to cum when she wants me to then I am sure motivated to get her in the mood. Lights, candles, clean house, happy demenor etc etc etc.

    - I think she does not like the idea of physical punishment wheras I do. I find a spanking to be quite stimulating. A really painful whipping is both a deterant and to me cathardic. Cleaning out, a new start, clear the slate etc. I wish she would be into this.

    Good luck and let me know how you go, how you feel, what happens etc.