Thursday, August 30, 2012

It is so nice just to talk

My wife and I do not talk as much as I would like.  I do not think she understands me and I know I dont understand her.  I think she has no idea about kink.  I suspect that she is not into self reflection.  Where I have a kink and I spend time on self reflection.

So it came as a refreshing change when last night she initiated a conversation about sex and she did it in a very direct way.  She said "lets talk about sex".

We had this great talk about how I enjoy it when she cums and she said that she enjoys it when I cum inside her but also we talked how she enjoys it when I simply hug her and when I rub her to orgasm.  And I also enjoy it when she cums like that and I do not think she really comprehends that. 

By that I mean, she will indulge me because I like something but she herself does not get enjoyment per se from the activity whereas when I rub her to orgasm or lick ker or simply hug her I get enjoyment or reward from that.

We talked about how I had an interest in chastity and I repeated my position that men do not NEED release.  If their body needs release then they have a wet dream.  Nature has taken care of that.  I talked about how when I have not had sex that I really really want sex and that motivates me to do nice things for her.  And that after sex I can have a range of feeling from contentment to actually feeling a bit down especially if I have received orgasm as a way to stop me being grumpy.  Its a sort of negative reinforcement of bad behaviour and at the same time a feeling of failure the same as I would have after masturbating.

She seems uncomfortable with all sorts of things that I like such as rewarding good behaviour with sex.  I think it is too cut and dry for her or perhaps makes her feel a bit like a prostitute.

She is certainly not excited about whipping me.

I think she sees tease and denial as cruel as opposed to fun / flirting / titilation which is the way I see it.  So she sort of does it but I do not think her heart is really in it.

I repeated that it is not that I do not want sex. I want more sex.  More intimacy.  More connection.  More physical interaction.  I saw orgasm as just one part of sex.

Anyway at the end she smiled and said that she was going to let me orgasm but in light of the conversation that as it seemed to suit me that she would keep me chaste a bit longer.  Then she had me put on some lube and push gently in and then move and then she rolled us over and rode me and she came and then lay there tightening on me and then she got turned on again and then a third time.  In light of the conversation there were a few times when I had to say stop I'm sorry or I will cum and she smiled and said "don't you cum tonight".

When she finished, she said get up, don't clean yourself, put on plastic pants, come back to bed, don't rub yourself and don't wake me up by tossing and turning.  Well that jsut got me so hard and happy.  My side of the bed has a plastic cover under the bottom sheet and so I ended up sleeping in plastic pants and every time I moved there was the slippery sensation inside the plastic pants and the crinkle of the plastic sheet and only a cotton sheet between my otherwise naked body and the plastic sheet. 

In the end we both fell asleap contented.  (I did wake a few times sweaty but that is the cost of having a kink I guess it's like an adiction)


  1. Sounds like a good talk and a good outcome, if only for a night. One of the things that I had to learn about serving my wife is that it really is about serving HER and HER needs, my needs and wants are secondary. The fact that your wife brought it up shows that she is willing to put effort into your fantasies, which is a very positive sign.

    One thing I have discovered is that when I work hard to show my wife that I love HER in ways that SHE likes (gifts work well for HER) then SHE is more willing to put effort into the things I like.

    Any more progress since this post?


  2. Hi Scott,

    Thanks for your post. The relationship continues. Perhaps I am just not as confident as I should be. You are right that The fact that your wife brought it up shows that she is willing to put effort into your fantasies, which is a very positive sign.

    You make a very good point - I [need to] love HER in ways that SHE likes.

    But nothing new in terms of open discussion.

    Thanks again.