Wednesday, April 17, 2013

on hold

For a while, just giving up on the overt submission thing.
Have suggested to the wife that we get some marriage counselling.
She has made a booking.  I was keen for her to select the counsellor.
I would love to be submissive to her but it needs to be in a context of building the relationship not just doing it because it is the only avenue left to get any intimacy from her.

Basically I feel that her attention is elsewhere.  I have donated my sperm and provided a house.  My usefulness is over.

I feel she needs to have some attention on family and especially our personal interactions.  But there is never any time for that.  She has her life so totally filled up with good and important commitments that there is no room for me.

I do not see submission as equating to weaselling.

I see submission as strength and I am prepared to put in a lot of effort but I need to see some degree of engagement from her.

So we will see how we go.

Obviously there are "subs" who journal their lives on the internet and these seem to be mainly those who get a sexual kick out of submission (as I do).  But there are those who submit to others.  I am think here of typically some Christian wives.  Possibly from generations past.  I have had great admiration for some of the older women in churches who have devoted / read submitted themselves and dedicated their lives to supporting and being submitted to their husbands.  Respected by their husbands.  Admired by their husbands.  But a cost to their personal ..... freedom, time and so on.  Times when they have had to sacrifice their own personal aspirations in order to go with their husbands. 

Now swap the sexes round.  I am prepared to submit to my wife.  To put aside my personal aspirations but simply to be ignored or in order to fight for attention.

1 comment:

  1. I struggled with many of the same things leading up to the FLR I am in. I have followed your blog a little bit, but I do not know your exact situation, so please forgive me if I say anything that doesn't apply to you. When submitting you have to understand that it truly is not about your needs. If your wife isn't giving you as much attention back or confirming your submission the way you would like, you need to accept that. How she handles it is up to her, thats the whole point. Be patient. She is supposed the be Dominant one, so let her behave and spend her time as she pleases. If she is busy with other life interests, then thats her choice. As a submissive husband, your job is to continue to submit to her both domestically and sexually. As far as things go for you, she will appreciate you more if you just do that, and you will reap your desired benefits of her acknowledging your submission later. The last thing a prospective dominant woman wants to deal with is a submissive husband who gets angry and gives up when things don't go his way. I'm no expert as our FLR is very new, but I struggled with this for many years before it worked for us. It takes time. I just started my blog, check it out and follow my journey and what has worked for me, it may help. Good Luck!