This weekend just gone was a long weekend where we remember our war dead. Those people who fought and died for our country and as a result we have the freedom to live today.
It was also for me a weekend of commitments with a fair bit of travel. I decided to wear an adult nappy during the day and on Friday night when I would be in a motel on my own away from my wife. Only for number ones I might add.
I keep a small supply of adult nappies (diapers for our American fiends) for when I go to the theatre or concerts as on occasion, I have been caught short and not enjoyed the show because I was concentrating on holding it. Also after I have been sitting for a while and I stand up then pretty quickly I sometimes get a urge to go and the end result is absolutely just focussing on holding it until I can get to the toilet.
Anyway, because I don't use them continuously, I tend to try a different type each time I but a pack. The most recent pack while having good capacity is a bit more bulky that I normally buy and also they don't seem to fit so well. I figured I would use them up.
So for this weekend I started with the idea that I would hold off until desperate and then wee then hold off again and then find a toilet. The personally set goal was to try to go about 8 hrs between visits to the toilet. I know that these things pretty much only hold at most one bladder full. I also don't trust them so I always wear plastic pants over them. The main problem I have found is that when one sits, some wetness can be squeezed out.
I found though that rather than holding until desperate, I got a bit lazy, and that as soon as I felt the need a bit, that I would just relax. And it is relaxing in it's own way. This way they ended up gradually filling. They got quite full and there was a noticeable lump between my legs. That then provided motivation to hold on until the 8 hrs was up. In that time frame I also had to resist the temptation to do a nappy change. I had set this personal goal and there was this weird desire to endure and push through till the self appointed completion time.
So in the end I went Friday afternoon through late Friday night. Change and wore one through the night then another Friday day with a change mid afternoon and through to late Sat night by which time I was home and also quite glad to take a break from it. Then another two on Sunday with a break Sunday night and likewise on Monday.
The wife would I think just be negative if I were to wear one to bed.
In the end kind of a fun thing. I know that objectively it seems disgusting to think that a grown man would deliberately wear then wet and remain in a wet diaper but that's it.
It also reminded me that in many times in my past I have set these personal goals and found a weird sense of need to achieve them. Sometimes academic but more often in what I now know as the kink space.
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