Someone said somewhere that guys sexualise everything and I think that is true for me.
This I think is going to be one of those rambling posts.
I guess I wish that my wife would be more overtly controlling in a sexual way. I also wonder what it would be like of she were overtly controlling. Would I like it or not. Maybe I would never be happy. Maybe it is a case of grass being greener on the other side of the fence.
Remaining in a submissive mindset is easier if I sexualise it. Doing the washing up as she chats to our guests. If I sexualise it then it is fun. Otherwise it is frustrating or tedious.
My wife has on occasion mentioned that I should go find someone to play out my fantasies with and I notice in a blog called strict julie spanks that she has all sorts of strange relationships going on between her and her sister and wot not. There was just one time when my wife passionately kissed another girl on the lips. Tongue and all. I found it a real turn on although I believe the other womans husband was most displeased. We were at a party and eveyone had had a bit too much to drink. So it is possible that my wife would not be jealous of a play relationship.
To me perhaps a more interesting or practical thing maybe either to find another couple where the woman does overtly control and spank the husband and have dinner with them (no kids around) and talk about how it works for them. They would need to be not too weird by that I mean I no matter how much I would fanticise about it, if they have their own dungeon and she flogs him half to death then it probably would turn my wife off. But if he lies or is even tied to the bed and whipped and then gets up and is still seen to be alive then that may be OK.
I think there is a balance between doing things for her selfish self and doing things for me. By that I mean for example, she will spank me sometimes if I ask her wheras she does not seem interested in forcing me to do something.
What would be nice is if she more often engaged in kinky stuff. For example I enjoy the feel of plastic pants and sleeping on a crinkly plastic sheet. She hates the mention of plastic. There is a middle ground I think where she can tell me to wear them when she is going away. She has done this in the past but not recently.
in my experience, the grass IS always greener on the other side of the fence. This is not just a fantasy: yes, it IS greener.
ReplyDeleteAnd women rarely have the same constant sex drive that we men have. For them, sex is just one fruit among a serving or plateful of many fruits. For us, sex is the damn plate on which all fruit are being served. Without the plate, the fruit could not be served up. That, as men, is our way of seeing things.
Women are social animals, much more than we are. Sex for them is part of the whole mesh of social interactions that gets them going. They react to the whole mesh of social interactions before they react to sex (which is just one part of the rest).
Anyway, I love your blog.
Hi Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteWomen sure are more social. They enjoy meeting, greeting & partying. Guys it seems, well me anyway, enjoy getting together but we really have to have a purpose other than just social. Ie build something or fix something or climb something and so on.
I like your analogy that for us it is the plate and for them it is just one piece of fruit among many.