Monday, September 10, 2012

Perhaps the pressure is easing

Toward the end of last week I was aroused much of the time and constantly thinking about sex.

Over the weekend, it is as if my body has accepted chastity as the norm.  I did not feel the tension or internal sexual conflict in my mind between desparately wanting to cum and that the same time wanting to remain chaste.  Sunday evening was very enjoyable with church, getting kids into bed, cleaning up and then going to bed.  I got the feeling that my wife did not want sex and for some reason I did not as I indicted above feel too driven that way so we just lay in each others arms and drifted off to sleep.

I slept very well.  It appears that one of the kids (10yo) wet their bed in the night and my wife dealt with it without waking me.  That was nice but ofcourse in my desire to be a good submissive obedient husband, I would have wished she had woken me and told me to deal with it.  Mind you it was her decision to let the boy not wear pull ups to bed.

This morning, we woke and got on with the day and I feel great.  Alert and energetic but without the constant desire or wish for sex.  An interesting new frame of mind.

I recall sometime back that my wife expressed aprehension about my new found desire to abstain from orgasm and to concentrate on her.  She said that it was a new type of pressure on her.  A pressure to perform.  We both understood she had a lower libido but now she felt there was actually more pressure on her and the words she used were "to perform".

Now we had come from a background of the man being notionally in charge although in practice, she was the family leader but in the bedroom, she felt that it was her obligation or duty to have sex with me whenever I wanted it.  Most of the time she did not reach orgasm.  It sounds like it was no big deal to her.  Open her legs for her husband.  In he goes and then he is relaxed.

So in thinking about this, I am hopeful that perhaps we can move to a new level where my desparation for sex is less obvious and so she feels less oblication, less pressure.  Perhaps out of this, we will have a more intimate relationship.  Perhaps less sex.  Perhaps the feelings of pressure to perform will go and then when she does have sex, she will really enjoy it. 

I wonder how that will progress and manifest it'self?

I suspect it will come through more self confidence with both of us. Me having the self confidence to exist without orgasm (read ejaculation here) because I do get really great satisfaction out of seeing her satisfies.  Perhaps my selfconfidence will increase as I tame to beast. It seems silly to me that I could abstain from masturbation as a teenager when my hormones were racing but now as an adult I can't.  I suspect it is an addiction.  A set of mental habits.  The habit of regular sex.  Controlled by the addiction rather than in control of my actions.

Feedback welcome of course.


  1. Hi,

    Have you considered or discussed with your wife the idea of you going into chastity? That's a visible sign of your lack of pressure on her for sex which may help her relax enough so that you can develop some new techniques with her on helping her come. A lot. There's no better way to stimulate a woman's libido than regular orgasm's delivered by her loving, submissive, husband in chastity.

  2. Thanks subservetoher,
    This is a difficult one. She has this idea that it is her duty to have sex with me. We come from an active christian background. Husband is the HOH and so on. So when I ask her to control when I cum, I think she is internally conflicted. So yes we have discussed it.

    Look I agree with you in that There's no better way to stimulate a woman's libido than regular orgasm's delivered by her loving, submissive, husband in chastity.