Thursday, September 13, 2012

The difference between my subbing and the internet

Internally I have a deep desire to submit to my wife.  To do things for her.  To have her happy.  For her to reach orgasm.  For her to feel free and relaxed.

But and this is a big but,

She does not want .... is about as blunt as I can put it.  One difficulty I face is knowing what she does and does not want.

When I look on the net, it seems that (and maybe this is porn fantasy) that in any good relationship BOTH partners must put in a lot of effort.  Effort into the relationship.  The dominant partner needs to be dominant.  They need to demand of the sub and the sub needs them to demand this.

So maybe my wife is not naturally dominant.  Maybe, maybe not.  She is not naturally submissive either.

I think whe has lost interest.
I think when it comes to sex she is lazy.

I was turned on again this morning and asked if I could cum and she said "do you really want to".  She has not taken in when I have spoken about her being in charge.  Of course I wanted to cum.  But what I needed to hear was "no do not cum if you cum you will be punished".

She wants "equality" in the relationship she says.
So in having no real sexual drive herself she achieves equality by taking my drive away.

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