Tuesday, December 11, 2012

An ache

I was exercising this morning and i realised I have that dull ache of pressure that comes from no ejaculation.
I think it has been just over a month.  I would have to go back over my blog (which I cant be bothered to do). 
I want to hope for the future.

My wife finished reading "Diary of a Submissive" last night.
I think that she may have learned a few things.
Some new phrases like D&S and dom and sub.

She read out a bit about the author being hit 109 times with a wooden spoon between her legs until she the author orgasmed.

We were both a bit shocked by that but I think my wife is getting the idea that physical pain is not necessarilly bad and also that for some it is good.  I think she maybe getting the idea that inflicting pain on me does not make her a nasty person and that everyone is different and that even though she does not get aroused by either pain or the idea of D&s that others ala me do and that thats ok.

She said we need to find a book where the person flips between dom and sub because that is what you (meaning me) are.

Now I have been trying very hard not to top from the bottom but some of that will be a come back to our early mariage where we did try hard to be good christians with a submissive wife (note no use of the word sub) and a head of the house husband.  We even used to practice sexual submission where I would say things like on your back legs apart and I would put lube on my penis, push in and cum quickly and she would do this without resisting.  Afterwould we would discuss whether I had felt her resisting and how she had felt about it.  So we have some baggage to work through if I am to be the submisive.  I think she is getting better with that.  More reading and more education and discussion.

So if anyone has knowledge of books that deal with things like a dominant husband becomming submissive and especially books relating to female lead marraige in a christian church going family.  Then please suggest them.



  1. First Comment 109 strokes with a wooden spoon is not that excessive with experienced Subs and Dommes. But Definitely not for a beginner. Not sure personally that religion has anything to do with a persons sex life but that is a personal matter. For a starter and more realistic look at Submission and Dominance Check out

    The Sexually Dominant Woman by Lady Grey.

    It is a quite handy learner for people just starting in this lifestyle. A lot of it is obvious to an experienced Domme but you need to learn the basics first and may never go past them, that is up to you. I get the feeling that your wife after reading the rather hard core Diary of a submissive was rather turned on and willing to consider the next step. Sorry this book is not about switching but a good beginners basic course so you don't make to many obvious mistakes and get put off by whipping too much at the beginning. or not having a safe word and movement etc.

  2. Just had another thought about you not being allowed to have an orgasm. (What a delightful idea) The experience that I have observed in most male submissives is that when their Mistress finally allows an orgasm they usually revert back to a full hormones raging male again and forget the proper respect due to their Mistress. It would be a good idea to inform your Mistress of this fact so she can be ready to stop any transgressions before they get too large. I have noticed that a judicious application of corporal punishment seems to work best. After a week of no orgasms most males become their submissive selves again.

    Not being able to orgasm for 11 years I have no memory of this act but have found it quite common among our friends.

  3. P.S. you have probably noticed that the longer you go without an orgasm the more submissive to your Mistress you are becoming. It certainly seems that way reading your blog. You experience a different hormonal balance in your body.

  4. Hi Pantyslave,
    We wait and see. I am not sure that I subscribe to the idea that abstinance makes for submission. I would have thought abstinance makes for more testosterone which means energy. That energy can be directed in a number of ways. Agression, sport, anger or most importantly to making her life easier better and in that the may just be a reward.

  5. Background about testosterone. I am 44 y/o male. I am former member of elite spec-ops unit. I worked for security contractor overseas. I am a firefighter now. Type A driven male. My hobby is powerlifting....over the years I abused steroids ...6 yrs worth!
    Went to MD for annual physical. My testosterone level was 15. Normal low is 200. I take shots every 2 weeks since 2010. My sex drive was never effected neither was my lifting weights. I take so many supplements.
    I have had a submissive side for years. I just figured since I have small penis I had a feminine side.
    I love giving my wife baths...doing her hair. We have talked about it. She dosent understand me spending 4 total yrs out of country; coming home slipping my panties on and we make love as 2 girls.
    She does need some real Fucking at times but not often...our chemistry is hot as girlfriends ..I can be as submissive as she wants