Wednesday, December 12, 2012


We had a busy evening out last night.
Tired and I got into bed.
My wife fiddled on her computer.
Normally this would really annoy me as I see it as competing for her attention but with no liklihood of orgasm and a strong desire to not get myself into a grumpy mood I decided to let it slide.

The night before she had finished reading the "diary of a submissive" and the book lay on my bed side table.  Face down I suspect so that the kids do not see it.  I wonder about our cleaner what she thinks.

So I started to read it and really enjoyed it.  It was great to read it and great to know that my wfe had read it.

Eventually she came to bed and snuggled up.

We had a conversation about how long I could go (without orgasm) and my response was "as long as you want me to go".

I said that I get fulfiment and enjoyment in many ways especially when she cums.  I then asked her to whip me.  She said OK get the chord out of the bottom draw.  The chord is a piece of electrical flex.  Plastic.  I put on a small night light candle so that there was some light to see by.  I gave her the flex and burried my face in the pillow.  Then it started and it was painful.  I writhed around on the bed.  I actually really wished I was tied down.  I want to experience this.  I want it to be painful.  Then she stopped.  It is amazing how quickly I want it again.  Only tens of seconds and I go from struggling against the pain to wishing it would continue.  And she did.  wow.  I thought she was going to simply hand the chord to me to return to the draw.  She whipped again and again and I struggled and I wanted to be quiet in case she stopped.  It was really painful as she hit already hit places.  All on my backside.  Then she stopped and I lay there panting.  This really is another way to reach a high.  Then without warning as I was drifting in selfindulgent bliss she started again.  A little harder I think because gee it was painful.  I pressed my face deep in the pillow and bit it and screamed into it and writed around on the bed desparately trying to deal with the pain.  Then she stopped and placed the chord in my hand.  I lay there panting and deep breathing.

She touched me and I arched up and kissed her and thanked her.  I wanted to reassure her that I loved her for doing this.

I put the chord away and we held hands and went to sleep.

In the morning (this morning) we had a great conversation.

About sexual submission.  It started with "bed room submission" but I pointed out that the sexual side can physically be out side the bed room.  In the "diary of a submissive" he asked her to give him oral sex in public for example.

She said it was hard for her to but she accepted that hitting me was a case of "be cruel to be kind".

I said that I wanted to submit to her.  That I found a strength and a clarity and a cumfort in it. 

The topic of when I should cum came up again.  I said please do not let me cum out of some ultruistic idea that I need release.  I find when I cum like that it is just a remider of weakness and after I feel down.  Its just another form of masturbation.  I said that I understood that she likes it when we cum together.  I said maybe sometime when she has cum a few times and denied me and that has of course kept me hard that maybe that should be the only time I cum.  When she wants it.  I reiterated don't let me cum just because of some kind of release.  Male bodies have natural ways to deal with the physical pressure. 

I also said that I would love to lick her to orgasm sometime.

It was a really wonderful discussion.

We talked about how the WHY is important.  In this case a I am submisive because I get turned on by it and it makes for a less pressured feeling and more support for her and she enjoys our relationship more.

I am stitting at work and I can feel a dull ache in my backside.

The marks BTW are visible but not hugely.  Nothing I imagine compared to some of you old pros.

Have a great day



  1. Good Morning. My name is Tom and I just joined your site. I love it and it has really opened my eyes as something I have been looking for in my marriage for a very long time. WE have been married for 15 years and have had a good relationship, but I think this concept (submissive husband)will take our marriage to the next level. I have found that I love doing things to make her happy and comfortable, and even get aroused doing chores around the house for her. I have taken a small step and told her that she is in control in the bedroom. She will decide when and how we will make love, and I told her that I have completely quit masturbating so that has already added to my state of arousal. I am finding it quite exciting to see how long I go without orgasm. Anyway, keep up the great blog.

  2. What a nice post. The best part of course being the discussion that the two of you had about your willingness to submit. Maybe your wife is finally starting to get it and understand that by submitting there can be greater intimacy and benefits to her as well. I hope you continue to talk and discuss this.

  3. Hi Tom,
    I hope you have fun with your marriage. I find that with encouragement from my wife I can abstain but without her encouragement then I sort of feel like "well whats the point" and I either masturbate or have sex with her. So it is a kind of interesting circle where I have had to communicate to her that I need her to encourage and threaten me. I think she is just starting to get on board. As I'm Hers has noted. - Thank you there too.