Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Chastity- fix the relationship FIRST

I had a look at
Signed up and all that as it looked interesting.  Basically in exchange for my email address I am receiving a multi part 'book' and of coourse there is a bigger and better book for sale.  I found it all very interesting.

One thing that came thorugh on the email and struck a chord was :-
  My primary goal is to feel needed and wanted sexually by my wife, what ever that may entail.


Is there a certain way to ease her into this life style? I haven't shared these thoughts with her yet. I would love to submit to she being totally in charge of our sex life, only my wife's pleasures and desires.

If I ask her about her sexual desire, she just shuts down and thinks I am trying to get a blow job out of the deal.

I want her to need me, as much as I need to see her pleasured. I need some kind of sexual feelings from her. If it turns out to be her oral pleasure and only chastity for myself I think I could be happy with that. Please tell me what you think. I could really use some help. Thank you ~ CM"

Does that sound like me?
Does that sound like some of the other male chastity and FLM blogs around here?
and her answer:
"   This is, alas, one of those times when I really do not think male chastity is going to solve anything."
So me thinks I need a different tack.
Fix the relationship first.
Then have another go at WLM/FLR.


  1. Fixing a relationship first would always be a good strategy. Almost a chicken/egg thing though, as you'll hear stories of couples that fixed their particular scenario through adoption of a FLR. I'm sure those cases are rare though.

    I wonder the same thing about fixing first, because I feel as though my hesitation to communicate fully about FLR desires is a sign that we have an issue with communication, although on the flip side, I know my darling is not so open to communicating about sex and anything kink related when not in the bedroom naked, so I'm not sure where it falls between being an issue and just how it is based on comfort level.

    It is a real catch 22. You think FLR would help with the relationship, you want it to progress quicker than it realistically can, but then you think there are other things that could be addressed first. Usual dilemma.

  2. Thanks anon,
    Yes it does seem like chicken and egg catch 22.

    I think communication is a big problem in my relationship and also I suspect (sweeping generalisaton here) that men and women communicate quite differently and read different things into what is said. You seen those cartoons He said she heard she said he heard thing.