Thursday, October 21, 2010

What this is not

This is not about being dumb. Submissive does not mean dumb. In fact exactly the opposite. Submissive means using my talents and abilities to do the things I am good at.

This is not about pretending I am a woman. I do not wish to dress in womens clothing and hang around in bars as was once said in a song about a lumber jack. I do guy things like play football, ride motor bikes, tinker with the car, fix toilets, play with model planes, trains and automobiles with the kids. Fix kids bikes, go to the pub with my mates.

Nor is it about suggesting that what was traditionally called womans work is somehow less valuable. House work, maintenance, helping are all very valuable jobs.

Nor is it about shirking responsibility. If I am responsible for something then I am responsible to make it happen right.


  1. Mr. I’m-a-SH,

    Hello. To follow a blog, I need ask my wife’s permission. I have asked her about yours and will add it to my blog list if she approves.

    Concerning your existing posts, I recommend respectfully two things…

    First, if your wife is like mine and the two of you came from a traditional 50-50 egalitarian marriage dynamic and are now trying a D/s one, the book “Uniquely Rika” is one my wife recommends. For her, there were many things as a vanilla woman she struggled with, but Ms. Rika does an eloquent job explaining a transition into a D/s dynamic from such a context.

    Second, you seem to have several preconceived ideas about your submission to your wife. This is very common when starting a D/s marriage that is F/m. It can be counter productive to finding what works well for you two. As the submissive, it is your responsibility to verbalize to your wife your desire for her to lead the relationship. If she agrees, how it goes from there is up to her. I recommend giving her the opportunity to make decisions for herself how she would like it to be formed. If you are like most of us, this will be a struggle for you as you see her doing things in a way contrary to how you envisioned. This discontent is really what you signed up for when you offered your gift of submission to your wife. Her wishes, not yours. Learning to connect to your submissive pleasure during these times of discontent is what I respectfully suggest you focus on during the transition period and not make suggestions to your wife unless directly asked. Below is a post I did about the transition period awhile ago that you may find helpful. I suggest so in only the hopes you two will succeed in the transition into a D/s marriage. It is a wonderful way to live in a relationship. Enjoy.


  2. Good points about housework being valuable. And i agree that you can be submissive to your wife and still be manly.i think that this is one reason that Female Led Relationships get a bad reputation.Peopl e automaticly assume that the guy is dressed as a woman or the wife wears only leather.

    In my opinion a submissive man can go outside with a toolbelton and build a deck in the backyard for his wife.And then come in remove the toolbelt and put on an apron and cook her a meal.

    I strongly agree with you that being submissive doesnt have to mean being less manly
    I look forward to reading your posts